as i was making my second helping of peanut butter toast (and can i just give a shout out to Master English Muffin Toasting bread? i’d link to it, but it appears to have no web presence at all and no www on the packaging) i got to thinking about how i need a new toaster. the right slot of my toaster (a hand-me-down from sister #3 and tony) only likes to toast the top half of the bread.
this technical toasting glitch does not get in the way of my toast enjoyment, so don’t worry about that.
but anyway as i was spreading creamy skippy on my half-toast, half-warmed up bread contraption, i was remembering sister #2’s totally swanky toaster she got for christmas. a four-slicer, all black and silver. i have total toaster envy.
as i was thinking about her toaster i got to remember that time that the toaster started on fire. not the first time, but the second time, when it was totally sister #2’s fault. i’m not exactly sure what caused the toaster to start on fire when she was about 10 and i was about 12. it might have been our habit of making toast, slathering it with about half an inch of peanut butter, and then putting it back in the toaster so the peanut butter would get all melty. it might have just been a shitty toaster that had been abused for far too long by impatient adolescents. who knows?
what i do know is that the toaster made a weird popping sound and flames started to shoot from the top. sister #2 bolted for the back door screaming about fire, fire and i bolted for my parents’ bedroom to wake up my dad.
that’s about all i remember. dad must have put out the fire, and we must have gotten sister #2 back into the house. i remember giving her unending shit about running for her life and not worrying about anyone else in the house.
yeah, i really want her toaster.
talk about toaster envy — get a load of the toaster my sister has (read description to appreciate it in all its glory).
Ed note: Amy’s Link all Prettified.
sorry, i’m a web moron. don’t know how to do nice and neat links like you.
amy! did you read the part that says, and i kid you not, WARNING: This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, or birth defects or other reproductive harm.
i hope your sister isn’t pregnant.
oh my god, i didn’t. that’s frightening. and i have a bun in the oven myself and sampled a piece of mickey mouse toast just christmas eve. i will warn her.
congrats on the bun! now no more toast.
i just wonder how you get away with selling a toaster that may cause cancer. i mean really.
I was in Lund’s the other day when I came across my old friend, English Muffin Toasting Bread. I had almost forgotten about it. I bought a loaf and hurried home, I couldn’t wait to get some PB on a toasted slice.
But, upon arriving at my apt, I realized that I no longer own a toaster.
Damn.
You know, you can make peanut butter toast (or, for that matter, buttered toast) on a pan in the broiler section of your oven. Sure, only one side gets toasted this way (very popular in the U.K.), but the toast is very tasty as you’re able to put the peanut butter (or cashew butter, or almond butter, or just plain butter) right on it and right into the heat source. You do have to watch it though, as it can get way overdone way fast, but to me it’s worth it. Anyway, just a thought. 😛