my mom had surgery today. she came out AOK so far. it was minor, out-patient surgery– some sort of varicose vein thing, i think. i’m not exactly sure. i couldn’t really talk about it at all because i was absolutely terrified about it. you see, friday night i had a dream that my mom died. this might not seem like a big deal, but for someone whose dreams about people dying come true all too often, it was a huge deal for me. my saturday was wretched with images from that dream haunting me all day. i couldn’t tell any of the sisters because they would surely freakout, and even when i went to dinner at mamala’s last night i wanted to say something, but didn’t.

and now it’s ok and i’m so relieved by it all that i could just weep.