i cried last night. i cried and i cried and i cried and i cried. it was terrible. so much crying. crying of the sort that we haven’t seen in a good long time. big, fat self-piteous tears that made the sides of my hair all wet and sticky. then i had a cry a little bit more because it’s nearly my birthday and i shouldn’t be crying at all. not at all. but cry i did.
the TTHM and i exchanged some angry words. i guess that’s what happens when two stressed out people collide. this would be no big thing if it were two sane stressed out people, but it’s not. it’s a semi-sane one (him) and then me. so, as it is whenever someone is upset with me i go into full-on freak out mode sure that i will be banished from his life forever because i am just simply too much work, too horrible to want to be involved with in any way shape or form (dude, i have some serious daddy issues, i know).
and if that wasn’t enough there’s great gobs of weirdness with darlingjason which is literally breaking this girl.
and it’s my fucking birthday. where’s my pink guy and black trans-am? (oh stop, it’s a sixteen candles reference).
my one saving grace, which is hard to believe, is work. it’s so beyond insane here that it doesn’t give me a chance to ponder my sad, sad state of affairs. and all i know is that if someone doesn’t send me some goddamn orange flowers for my birthday i’m gonna be really the saddest girl for a very long, long time.