enfant terrible

i cried last night. i cried and i cried and i cried and i cried. it was terrible. so much crying. crying of the sort that we haven’t seen in a good long time. big, fat self-piteous tears that made the sides of my hair all wet and sticky. then i had a cry a little bit more because it’s nearly my birthday and i shouldn’t be crying at all. not at all. but cry i did.

the TTHM and i exchanged some angry words. i guess that’s what happens when two stressed out people collide. this would be no big thing if it were two sane stressed out people, but it’s not. it’s a semi-sane one (him) and then me. so, as it is whenever someone is upset with me i go into full-on freak out mode sure that i will be banished from his life forever because i am just simply too much work, too horrible to want to be involved with in any way shape or form (dude, i have some serious daddy issues, i know).

and if that wasn’t enough there’s great gobs of weirdness with darlingjason which is literally breaking this girl.

and it’s my fucking birthday. where’s my pink guy and black trans-am? (oh stop, it’s a sixteen candles reference).

my one saving grace, which is hard to believe, is work. it’s so beyond insane here that it doesn’t give me a chance to ponder my sad, sad state of affairs. and all i know is that if someone doesn’t send me some goddamn orange flowers for my birthday i’m gonna be really the saddest girl for a very long, long time.

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1 Comment

  1. the TTHM 04.Jun.04 at 12:03 pm

    see? completely stressed-out friends can exchange angry words, kiss and make-up all within the span of twenty-four hours…next time I’ll try to remember my training and react with compassion at your crises of faith rather than shouting ‘what the fuck is your problem?’ especially when you’re not even around to listen. Okay…really that’s asking a bit much…