i’ve made it to 9 o’clock which is quite a feat, but i’m quite worse for the wear. i’m the throes of a black, black sunday, which makes me feel like my skin’s on inside out and my nerves are exposed. this makes me quite tender and prone to being easily hurt.
tonight i just don’t feel like i’m good enough. i try. but i don’t seem to be successful at it. it seems my biggest talent, the one thing i am good at is being a mirror, allowing people to see themselves in my adoration colored eyes. it seems people like the image of themselves that i can reflect back to them. while this is probably a good talent to have, it’s not emotionally satisfying for the mirror. because the mirror just ends up feeling like an object, something that will be discarded as soon as the reflection starts liking what they see in regualr mirrors again.
tonight, i could have used an adorartion colored mirror. someone who could reflect back an image that paints me as good enough, interesting, pretty and worth the effort.