so i was sitting in the coffee gallery with the NBFB who had a no good very bad day, listening to him vent and what not. it was great and all, because he’s always listening to me and it was nice to be able to return the favor.

but then he nearly did something so stunning that he was gonna get demoted from NBFB to weird guy i know.

see, we were sitting there and this drunk guy came stumbling in to the open book. the guy was trashed and he had the beginnings of a black eye. i didn’t think too much of him as he took a seat facing me, behind the NBFB.

but then drunkguy starts talking. and i can tell he’s trying to get my attention. i won’t, of course, make eye contact because i’m smart. i stare intensely at the NBFB.

then drunkguy starts moaning “i love you.” “what?” “i love you.” “you’re so good looking.”

and i’m blushing and staring fiercely at NBFB. when he, NBFB, announces he really has to go to the bathroom.

“you aren’t leaving,” i said through clenched teeth.
“i really have to go,” he said.
“i don’t care,” i said. “you aren’t leaving me here with that guy.”
“but i really have to go.”
“you aren’t leaving me here, what kind of rotten person are you?”
“sheesh.”

and then we dickered about it for five minutes. finally, barney fife, the limping security guard, ushered the drunkguy out. and the NBFB got to go to the bathroom and stay my NBFB, so all’s well that ends well, i guess.