calming my nerves

since i’ve got a giant case of the nerves about this impending fiction class, the co-workers have been trying to calm me down a bit.

“i’m worried about this class,” i said.
“are you afraid they’ll all be a bunch of freaks?” sonja asked.
“sometimes i like the freaks more,” jess said, “i fit in with them better.”
“i’m not afraid they’ll be freaks, i’m more afraid they’ll be snooty ‘writers’ and they’ll hate me for being a sellout two-bit copywhore for a corporate conglomeration,” i said.
“yeah,” sonja said, ” i can understand that.”
“blech!”
“you know, ella took a class at the loft,” jess said.
“I KNOW!” i wailed. “now you see why i’m so nervous.”
“Well,” sonja said, “even if you aren’t the best writer there, you will be the most well-read and you can take satisfaction in that.”

shawn told me to get drunk and/or lie.
“just tell them that you also make a living by doing a little wordsmithing,” he said.
“what? you don’t think they will just smell the two-bit copywhore on me? you think this just washes off.”
“well then have a few drinks,” he said.
“yeah,” i said, “i don’t think subjecting a room full of strangers with drunkjodi is the way to go.”

then he called me difficult.

i am sure everything will be swell, it’s just the waiting for it to go swell that’s gonna kill me.

also, it smells like flowers in here.

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Everything the light touches is my kingdom. Well, at least where this website is concerned. There's an about me section if you are so inclined to know things. All the posts were written by me. I have a lot of words.

3 Comments

  • joots

    10.Jun.03 at 9:52 pm

    Have a great time in your class! Remember, you’re doing this for *you*. It means the world to *you*. Don’t worry about doing your best. Just get ready to really fuck it up BIG. Learn one thing about yourself and it’ll have been worth your time and effort. S’gonna be good!

    Reply
  • Thomas

    11.Jun.03 at 6:32 am

    NO! No fuck ups!! You are Jodi, the very Jodi who time after time has left me sitting here at my techie desk with red-hot tears, literal tears, streaming down my face from just a few of your keystrokes. You have a gift in writing. No matter what your chosen occupation is, you still have the essence and spirit of the muse inside you.

    Your stories here have been personal, and that’s why they have such an edge, but all these things that you’ve experienced has given you a unique perspective on life. You know people and their quirks, now use these observations to your advantage.

    I know you can do it.

    Reply

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