the family picture peace accords

holy hannah!

you’d think we were trying to negotiate peace in the middle east or something. 17 e-mails and three phone calls, and they’re still trying to decide on what to wear for this goofy picture.

i am happy to report that i’ve talked them out of the matching color thing. it was tough, but i laid down the eldest sister smack and they fell into line just like they are supposed to.

of course, i just got a call from the mall:
“so how about forest green and white?”
“no, some of us wear forest green and some of us wear white.”
“how about not?”
“because that will look super doofy. just pick a dark, muted colors — navy blue, forest green, dark grey.”
“you’re so smart.”
“i know.”

of course my favorite exchange came via e-mail between sisters #3 and 4:
sister #4: what time is this?
sister #3: 5:30 saturday.
sister #4: i have becky’s party.
sister #1 (me): can’t you meet up with them later?
sister #4: well they were going to the acme comedy club and then to the bars so there’s no way i can find them ever [ed note. . . my problems are insurmountable, you cannot solve them don’t even suggest i use that new fangled contraption called a cell phone, yeah that thing that i have permently glued to my ear and had to up my plan to like 39,382 minutes a month because i am a whiny, selfish brat].
sister #3: that’s fine! you’re adopted anyway, so only the real sisters will be in the picture HAHAHAHA.
sister #4: are you trying to piss me off?
sister #3: it was a joke, apparently you didn’t get it. do whatever you want but you’re the one who will have to explain to mom why you’re not in the picture.

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