my brain has escaped my body and is floating about two feet behind and above my head, a helium balloon tied to the loop of my earring.

i feel lost, floaty and my eyes keeps flitting about trying to get my bearings. maybe it’s because i finally finished “Use Me” and it didn’t disappoint, not in the least. mostly i think it’s because i had a weird dream last night. it wasn’t so much weird as just unsettling.

i had a sex dream about a friendboy. usually, depending who the friendboy i’m having the sex dream about, these usually oog me out to no end. like i once dreamt about having sex with the evil munchkin on the then marketing director’s bed. i don’t think i slept for a week after that for fear of having a reprise. once, i dreamt about kissing the evil, former head of tech support and woke up wanting to rip my subconcious from my brain with a rusty fork.

but this sex dream was different.

in the dream the friendboy and i were falling in love, though neither of us wanted to admit it. we were both quite excited about having sex with each other and once we started, we couldn’t stop. in one of our down times, i looked at him and said, “why did we wait so long?” he just grinned at me and said he didn’t know, then we started having sex again to make up for lost time.

but then things went horribly wrong. we were in a diner, sitting in a corner booth. only there were no walls in the booth, just giant windows. we were having sex in the booth.

my aunt cathy came over to the booth and informed us that the entire city was watching us have sex. that we happened to be sitting in front of the busiest intersection in the entire town. then i looked out the window and it was like a parade of people. people everywhere.

then my dad and mom came into the restaurant to meet my friendboy. only my dad wasn’t wearing any pants– just his tightywhitey underpants. my dad was outraged about something and was cussing and yelling. this embarrassed my friendboy to no end and he left. he just left.

so i went in search of him, only i couldn’t remember where he lived. i was driving around in my truck, ruby, and and all I could remember was his house number 831. I was driving through this redlight district and there were hookers everywhere. I wasn?t disturbed at all that he lived in the redlight district and when I stumbled upon the giant church, I knew I was close.

I parked Ruby and walked around looking for my friendboy. i walked through whorehouses and sex shops. i walked through nunneries and around statues of jesus christ. night turned into day and i found myself on a boardwalk of some sort.

my friend jessica was eating lunch on this boardwalk with some people i didn’t know– so was the friendboy. he wasn’t at jess’ table, he was a few yards away with a group of people. i asked jess if he was looking at me, if he had noticed me. she said he hadn’t. then i sat down and cried.

then i woke up.

now my brain floats above my head and i am convinced today is going to be an odd, odd day.