ok, what in the hell am i thinking? buying a house? me buying a house.

am i ready for such a commitment? do i want to move out to hutchinson? can i afford it?

there are just so many questions. i don’t understand how people ever buy houses. it just seems so grown up and settling down and what not. it scares the piss out of me.

am i old enough to buy a house? shit, i wouldn’t give me a house i’m way too immature.

part of me really, really wants this. i mean it’s my own house. i can paint it and turn the stereo up really, really loud. and i won’t be throwing money away on rent and stuff.

but then there is part of me who just wants to stay where i am. continue getting on my feet and finding my way around this independence and what not.

maybe i’m jsut scared of change. maybe.

maybe nothing will come of it and i can just go back to my happy little status quo.

maybe i have no idea what in the hell i’m doing and that’s what scares me more than anything.

maybe i’m not ready to grow up so much at once.