R.I.P super responsible adult girl

yeah, so super responsible adult girl died a not-so-painful death tonight. i dunno what it was. maybe it was the book. maybe it was the sinful decadence of eating a chocolate covered chocolate whilst lying in a sea of red flannel. maybe she impaled herself on my vibrator. regardless, she has been replaced my regular ol’ me and i can’t sleep. i am not sure what the problem is. my brain refuses to shut down. it’s going a mile a minute. i was lying in bed, basking in the afterglow waiting for the sandman to kiss my eyes when the ideas just started flying.

first i started thinking of professors in college i would have had sex with (because the character in the book i am reading is a professor who just had sex with a student) and really there weren’t that many. probably ol’ pete myers for sure, mostly because he used the word circuitous and i just fell in love instantly. and ol’ ziggy whose real polish name i can’t remember. he was a guest prof from poland and taught all these neat-o poli sci courses about the fall of communism and what not and his name is really something like zbiegnew czubinski or something like that. i just remember that he was really quite tall (my height) and had dark hair. he gave me an A on this really shitty paper i wrote about apartheid.

then for no apparent reason i started thinking about friday, and it’s allison’s birthday. i was thinking of the rad leather journal i bought her and i am pretty sure that i’ll marry the first man who buys me the exact kind of journal i love. i don’t know what journal that is, but he’ll know. then i will marry him. but then i started thinking about getting out my old journals to find out how to spell ziggy’s real name, but that’s just really too much work than i am willing to put forth this late at night when i am supposed to be trying to sleep.

then when i started thinking about the old journal’s i remembered all that stuff i wrote about gay tim and what a crush i had on him, which made me think of tim leutwiler, another professor, who was so totally adorable with red hair and why do i have such a thing for redheads? is it some sort of weird dad-type thing, because allegedly my biological father has (had?) red hair but i really don’t know from experience but i can kind of see it in the two really shitty pictures i have of him.

oh yes, i also worried about my car being a padiddle. i hate having a headlight out in my car. i went to wal-mart today to get a headlight and well i couldn’t find them forever because they weren’t by all the other automotive stuff, the air-filters, oil and cup holders. no the lightbulbs were by the flashlights and camping stuff, because that makes perfect sense to the powers that be at wal-mart. so i got the headlight, only i don’t know how to put it in, so i have to attempt that in the morning which means i should probably get up a little earlier than usual, which made going to sleep all that much more alluring, but see, it’s still not gonna happen.

so then by that time i was really wound up and couldn’t decide if i should jsut continue on in bed and will myself to go to sleep. but i couldn’t keep my eyes shut, they just kept popping right open and i really don’t even feel that tired, maybe it was the sugar in the chocolate covered chocolate, i am not sure.

i rolled over to find my glasses, because i am so blind i can’t get up without them and ended up with a paco shoved up my ass. aren’t cats supposed to be able to see in the dark? why couldn’t he see my giant white ass heading his way? so then he meowed all snarky like and i called him a dumbass for not moving. hell, i am the human right? so now i am pretty sure he’s mad at me.

here i sit, rocking back in forth in front of oberon. some sort of weird lunacy overtaking me so late in the evening. i can’t even sit still. i feel a little like rainman or something. i can’t quite explain it. i really jsut wish my brain had an on/off switch or a shut down option so i could go to bed when i wanted to.

i think the game plan here is to lug otto into bed with me and write some stuff until i lull me to sleep. because i can’t think of anything more dull than my own damn writing. it sounds like a wonderful plan to me. wish me luck darling ones.

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3 Comments

  1. jeffy 08.Nov.01 at 10:31 am

    Are you reading Blue Angel by chance? What do you think?

    Reply
  2. jodi 08.Nov.01 at 11:12 am

    so far i am loving it. i am at the point where angela just freaked out on swenson for not calling her after reading the pages (post sex).

    Reply
  3. jodi 10.Nov.01 at 12:10 pm

    hi.

    Reply

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