just one of the guys

last night after work, i went out for a drink with the guys. it was weird. i’ve always been one of those girls that’s considered “just one of the guys.” i haven’t been able to determine if it’s size or personality that makes me one of the guys. all i know is that i have always been one of the guys and sometimes i just want to scream at them “I AM A GIRL!”

so it’s strange sitting at a bar with men. first i feel like a traitor to my gender and to my friend andrea because i am there with the evil munchkin who broke her heart. second, i want to talk about how the munchkin is feeling and what not. he had mentioned being depressed and whatnot. . . but since we are there with two other men… well, there was no talk of feelings. instead we talked about drinking and sex.

oh joy!

as you well know i can talk about drinking and sex just as much as any guy. but this was strange. they asked me what physical traits i find attractive in a man. i said it depends on the man, and it does. i confessed my secret crush on artgeek boy. they were amazed to find me scoping out an older man with rad glasses.

“that guy with the black frames?”
“yeah, he’s cute.”
“he’s hiding his ring hand.”
“i know!”
“i think he might be gay.”
“i was thinking that too, it’s the story of my life.”
“he’s like 40!”
“so, i am almost 40.”
“you are not!”

yeah, so the conversation degenerated from there. it was quite interesting. they admited to never meeting a pair of breasts that weren’t attractive. and i guess skinny bootie isn’t all that much fun. . . though they wouldn’t toss her out of bed.

the best line of the night: “i’d tell you more but i’d just offend myself.” which garnered me high-fives around the booth. boys are all about the high five. . . why is that?

so yes. a night out with the boys is so very different from a night out with the girls. i left the bar last night feeling a bit buzzed and generally unattractive. and i think that’s the problem with being “just one of the guys.”

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8 Comments

  1. mickmars 15.Jun.01 at 8:30 am

    actually, you are almost 40.

  2. andrea 15.Jun.01 at 9:01 am

    blah.

    I just hope the skinny bootie reference wasn’t me.

  3. jodi 15.Jun.01 at 9:31 am

    the skinny bootie reference wasn’t made by uriel. he was actually quite polite. james is the pig.

  4. heather 15.Jun.01 at 10:31 am

    you know, those conclusions actually make me feel a little better about myself.

  5. andrea 15.Jun.01 at 10:40 am

    well, that makes me feel better. that he’s still relatively polite. i had all these morbid images of him suddenly coming out of the closet as a pig of the worst sort.

  6. Skattie 15.Jun.01 at 12:18 pm

    Believe it or not, it works the other way for guys, too: “Oh, you’re such a good friend”; “You’re such a sweetheart”; etc. It’s maddening to be one of the guys who is decent, and hence, considered “not dating material”.

  7. mickmars 15.Jun.01 at 12:45 pm

    well. you could maybe attempt to begin to kick my ass, but then you’d stub your toe or something and have to probably forfeit.

  8. josh 17.Jun.01 at 12:26 pm

    Ah, sweet sweet alcohol. A night out with the boys wouldn’t be the same without it!