i am pleased to announce

i am pleased to announce that i am a liar. i had full intentions of crawling into bed and going to sleep early. but then i started reading infinite jest and they were talking about the assassins des fauteuils rollents and quebec. reading about quebec made me think of work and how the french-canadian guy hung up on me today. he said, “parles-vouz francais?” and i said, “no” then he said “pourquoi?” and before i could say, “because i am a lazy american you crazy cannuk,” he hung up on me.

so then i am laying in bed thinking of the french-canadians and how they all the tiem hang up on me and that made me think of virginia. she told me all this french stuff that i could say if one of them ever asks me why. of course, i promptly forgot all the stuff she told me to say.

but thinking of virginia made me think about getting this job and how tracy is telling tech-writers that she used to work with to apply for the job and that makes me sad. it also makes me think how mr. head-of-marketing made a crack about “we haven’t offered her the position yet.” which makes me think that i pretty much am not gonna get the job and that makes me sad.

so now i am laying on my belly in bed with otto trying to become unsad and unworried. so i started thinking of vicki sherburne.

vicki was the envy of all the neighborhood girls back in 1986 because she had loads and loads of big, beautiful brown hair. yes, we envied her big hair. it was curly and had a wonderful wingspan and bangs that were at least 3 inches high. she was a sight and how i envied her. i was never really good at the whole big hair thing. i have an aversion towards hairspray. that, combined with a total lack of patience when it comes to a curling iron left me with woefully flat, not big (meaning totally not cool) hair. it was a jr. high tragedy, but i sure enjoyed the time spent watching she-ra way more than i would have enjoyed the time spent in front of the mirror with a curling iron.

so now i am thinking of jr high and it makes me smile wistfully and hope that tomorrow is a snowday. now i think i might be able to get some sleep.

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i am pleased to announce

i am pleased to announce that i am going to bed. i am also pleased to announce that if you get chronic nosebleeds the news is telling us to dab vaseline into our nostrils. yes, they are telling me this on the 10 o’clock news. also, i believe clyde is again encased in ice and fused to the parking lot. also, tomorrow may be a snow day. i will be up early sitting in front of the tv like an 8th grader hoping to see my company’s name on the news. isn’t it exciting?

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