the eye doctor might have a crush on me. he was pretty cool. but he kept calling me sugar, honey, darling, baby. the baby-babe thing was his favorite. he kept rubbing my back or shoulder and calling me babe. he thought he was really, really funny. he would call me shorty and laugh his buttocks off. here’s a tip, calling a tall person shorty. . . NOT FUNNY.

not funny at all.

i’ve heard it about 983,185,722 times. really. it’s not funny. neither is stretch, or how is the weather up there.

he was actually pretty fun, for an eye doctor. even with all the corny jokes. best of all, i got some swanky new glasses on the way