crush not my fragile ego

when you burst into tears at work before lunch on a monday, you can pretty much guarantee the week’s not gonna go so swell. add to that the thought that your favorite co-worker will no longer be your co-worker, and, well, you get a small picture of my absolutely shitty week. i thought, however, that the tide was gonna turn. when i found out partner was, in fact, going to be with us for another six weeks i hooted and hollered with pure unadulterated joy. things were looking great. in fact, i was looking kinda great. knowing that i feel better when i look better, and since i knew today was going to be trying, i put some effort into it this morning– not only brushing my mop, but also blowing it dry and putting in mystery spooj, wearing my favorite yellow shirt, you know that kind of stuff. so when i left work tonight, i was feeling pretty damn good.

i was chipper and happy, when i got to the bowling alley, still riding the partner-staying high. i chatted with the bowlers, i smiled, i was even nice. i encouraged them to partake in my healthy snacks (grapes and strawberries). i got them beer before they even asked. i said you’re welcome.

then psycho donny decided to take his bad bowling out on me. i was standing behind the bar, having just gotten someone a beer.

“my god,” psycho donny said. “is your mom like 7 feet tall and your dad 8 feet?”
“no,” i said. “my mom’s only 5’10” and my dad was like 6’2″ or so.”
“that’s pretty tall,” he said. “but you gotta be at least 6’5″”
“i am.”
“what’d you eat fucking steroids your whole life? because you’re huge.”

and right there all my good feelings melted right away. i blank-faced him because i didn’t know what else to do. really, why do people have to be like that? it’s not like tonight was the first time psycho donny laid eyes on me. it’s not as though i’m completely oblivious to my freak of nature status. this is not news. so why the reaction? i just wonder if he intended to make me feel like complete and utter shit or if that was merely an accident. because really, why do you say that to someone? what is the point?

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  1. Jeff Left 02.Apr.05 at 3:51 am

    jeffanalysis: having already attached the moniker “psycho donny” to him, you clearly already knew he was a fuck-wad. 2 possibilities as to why: 1) p.d. has his own low esteem issues, bad bowling & bully/dickhead mindset, with you being the closest vunerable target for him to try to boost his own self-worth. 2)you were ‘looking good’ with a confident, up attitude. He picked up your vibe, the testosterone was kicking in… he starts ‘thinking’ of you… makes a play (p.d. type flirtation) … quickly gauges your reaction… realizes its not going to happen and reverts to defense and makes a dig to try saving face. Either way dust him out of your mind. Remind yourself that you have a heap of friends/fans who dig you for who you are.

    sidebar: 1:48 am, 1/2 a fifth of Sauza – steeped in melancholy, tg for pw.

  2. PeeWee 02.Apr.05 at 4:56 pm

    Being tall is superior.
    You know that.


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