I remember where I was on October 25, 1998. I was babysitting my one-year-old niece Jaycie while Sister #2 labored away giving birth to my nephew Maxwell. When we got that call that he was born and healthy, in my excitement to get me & Jaycie to the hospital I inadvertently left the kitchen window open allowing my sister’s cat Jasper to escape never to return.

If you think after fourteen years she has let me live that one down, think again. We cannot celebrate Maxwell’s birthday without heaping shame on me for that one. I still feel bad. Jasper was a good cat.

I remember where I was October 25, 2002. I was working at Jasc Software and before heading to lunch with my friend Todd, I called to wish four-year-old Max a happy birthday. He promptly burst into tears. Apparently he was really going to miss being three. At lunch, Todd & I watched on the news as they announced that Senator Paul Wellstone had died in a plane crash. The news hushed the entire restaurant.

I don’t remember where I was on October 25, 2010, but I do remember were I was on October 26, 2010. I was sitting on the couch putting together a LEGO house. I was using the toys as a redirection tactic, hoping the mindless work would keep me from obsessing about my mom’s breast cancer diagnosis. I was a little annoyed because a few feet away from me Enid, my laptop, would constantly chirp and ding indicating a flood of incoming email. I did not want to deal with anything. After an hour I read an email from my friend Malmsy (the artist formerly known as Trip Shakes) and learned that Luke Bucklin’s plane was missing. In a blink my mom’s cancer seemed so small. At least I knew where she was sleeping that night. I knew she was warm and safe.

A week later we learned there were no survivors and on the day they carved the cancer out of my mom’s body I wrote one of the most honest, truest things I ever wrote in my life. It was about Grace and The Nerdery. All of it is still true today, two years later.

If my family wasn’t filled with people having shitty birthdays (Christmas Eve; Jan 3 & 4 when nobody wants to celebrate anything; two people who are not twins who have to share a birthday, one of whom has been bitter about it for thirty-two years), I’d feel a little bad for Maxwell. But then I think about it and sharing your birthday with the memories of two great men like Paul Wellstone and Luke Bucklin is about 38,291 times better than sharing it with your little sister.

The post October 25, a day more sweet than bitter appeared first on I Will Dare.

Today is my nephew Maxwell’s birthday. He’s 13 now, and navigating that prickly, hormone-filled line known as adolescence. He’s become the kind of kid who loves Sasquatch, playing Minecraft, Internet memes, and quoting Monty Python. He’s a total nerd, which was never more apparent then when he attended the Overnight Website Challenge back in March.

It’s kind of magical when you watch someone discover their element, and in that event with all those Nerds, Max found his people. I don’t recall ever seeing him happier than he was in that building filled with people who appreciated Nerd Culture as much as he did. He claims the Webchallenge was one of the best days of his life, ranking right up there with his first trip to Disney World.

Maxwell’s birthday is also the anniversary of Luke Bucklin’s death. It’s one of those sad coincidences that you could never pull off in fiction. If you don’t know, Luke was the President and a Co-Founder of The Nerdery, the company that created the Overnight Website Challenge.

On anniversaries^* like this, especially the first one, it’s hard not to get mired in the memories. I still remember every moment of that awful week Luke and his sons were missing, and how it made my mom’s cancer feel so small in comparison.

But now it’s a whole year later and to indulge in those memories would be selfish and masochistic. That serves nobody. Instead I celebrated the life of my beloved nephew with my mom whose hair is growing back enough that she doesn’t have to wear a wig anymore.

And as Maxwell unwrapped his nerdy gifts^** (a PS3, Monty Python DVDs, some t-shirt about lemons and burning life’s house down), in my head I sang a little bit of “Let it Be” (which is as close as I can come to praying) for Luke and his family and everyone who is remembering him today.
 
*Poor Maxwell has a total bummer of a birthday because today is also the anniversary of Paul and Sheila Wellstone’s death.
 
**incidentally, I got Max some of those nerdy gifts but the best gift I gave him was the ride to Best Buy as soon as we finished chewing the birthday cake, where he spent his birthday cash on the new Batman game which is apparently all the rage judging by the reaction from all the Blue Shirts who complimented Maxwell on his game choice.

The post October 25 appeared first on I Will Dare.

This was the view from the desk at the Continuing Education building on the UofM campus in St. Paul. A few of the things I witnessed during the seventeen hours I was perched behind the desk volunteering for The Nerdery’s Overnight Website Challenge:

• Senator Al Franken walk by with a cadre of nerds tailing him.
• 100 pizzas (and that’s my rough estimate) from Pizza Luce march by at about midnight.
• Tron Guy!
• Roughly 250 people coming together to spend 24 (and for some of them 30+) hours building websites for Minnesota nonprofits
• About 283 rounds of real-life Angry Birds
• My FFJ who was there to get a new website from a team of nerds who so suited her it was ridiculous
• Jaycie, Max, Ben, and Sister #2, Ericka, there to help out with the challenge

I like to tell people that the only reason I get so weepy about the WebChallenge is because I’m tired and when fighting exhaustion it’s hard to fight tears. But that’s a total lie. The WebChallenge makes me weepy because it’s an emotional event that does so much good for so many people that I cannot possibly hold all the awesomeness of it inside and it just leaks right out my eyes.

This was my third WebChallenge and by far my favorite. Maybe it was because I was so happy FFJ’s very worthy cause was getting the help it so desperately needed. Maybe it was because my family was there it experience it with me. Maybe it was because I’ve never seen my nephew Max in such ecstasy. I’m pretty sure he’s never felt more at home with a bunch of people he just met. The Nerds are like that — welcoming, patient, and kind.

It’s that kindness that’s so remarkable. My sister, who has spent more time in academia than in corporate America, was taken aback by the kindness. “I just didn’t expect them to be so kind,” she said. “You can just tell those Marks [two of the Nerds who helm the challenge] are kind the minute you meet them.”

The whole building is steeped in kindess for the entirety of the event. Webpros helping nonprofits, volunteers helping all those creating the websites, and nobody getting paid. It’s the kind of thing that restocks your faith in humanity for at least 364 days (until the next WebChallenge).

But this isn’t even the very best thing about the WebChallenge. No, even better than being a small part of helping 18 nonprofits get websites so they can help more people is that it is so much fun. It’s like a giant slumber party in the very best way that slumber parties were when you were thirteen — tons of bad food, silliness, and endless laughter.

I only stayed about seventeen hours this year. Ruby’s having some misfiring (according to Ben) issues and even that — car problems the most anxiety-inducing, frustrating problems to annoy a person — can’t harsh my WebChallenge buzz.

Seriously, the WebChallenge is probably the coolest, most heart-warming, thing I do all year. I’m a little sad that it’s already over for the year (and that has little to do with the fact that I had to prepare my own meals and own coffee today) and can’t wait until next year.

The post The best thing to lose sleep over appeared first on I Will Dare.

If you had the pleasure of knowing or meeting Luke, I’m extra sorry for you because I know there’s a painful void in your life that will take a long time to heal. I didn’t know Luke very well but I was lucky enough to work for and with the company he founded, The Nerdery. I even had the opportunity to work with him on a very boring technical documentation project. A project so unsexy that he apologized for the dryness of the writing. “It’s documentation for nerds,” he said. “They don’t need poetry.”

If you are curious as to what type of person Luke was you need only look to The Nerdery. While he did not create that place alone, he was instrumental in shaping the place it has become.

When you think of nerds and a place called The Nerdery a lot of images probably come to mind. For most of us being a nerd was not a good thing. The word conjures up a lot of stereotypes badly-bespectacled, awkward, goofy, etc. I don’t need to list them for you. One of the things that never seems to come to mind is grace.

Grace is the only word I can think of to describe what has unfolded over this past week since Luke’s plane went missing. I never thought I would use the word to describe a company, an entity that exists to make money. But as I mentioned earlier, somehow Luke and his team have managed to balance the aspects needed to be a strong, successful company with being decent human beings intent on helping people.

It was edifying to see the Nerds turn to the web to express their hopes and fears. Reading their tweets and emails were at times hilarious and other times heartbreaking.

Unable to go out to Wyoming, though some of them wanted to help search, the Nerds did what they know so well — created things to help people connect. From #LukeComeHome that aggregated all the tweets about the missing plane (and now condolences) to the Thank You site which allowed people to send thanks to the Search & Rescue teams out looking for Luke and his boys, the Nerds turned their anxiety into something positive and helpful.

Who does that? It boggles my mind, and is such a testament to Luke and the company he helped create and the people they chose to work there. That, my darlings ones, is the very definition of grace. Grace in the face of something so tragic the mind can barely comprehend it. And yet . . . there’s just no way I can finish that sentence to adequately express not only my appreciation for, but my admiration of the Nerds and The Nerdery.

I’m so sorry for each of their broken hearts and for the pain they’re feeling. As they said on the blog, “We will sorely miss Luke as our leader. But we’ll miss him far more as our friend. Everyone who knew Luke came away better for it.”

It’s a small comfort in the face of such overwhelming grief to know that Luke’s work and life will be admirably and beautifully commemorated every day at The Nerdery

The post Grace appeared first on I Will Dare.

The plane Luke Bucklin, President and CEO of The Nerdery, was flying is missing in Wyoming. Luke was flying the plane with three of his sons on board. They were headed home from a family vacation in Jackson Hole. You can read more details at the PiPress or on Luke and his wife Ginger’s blog.

As I mentioned earlier, I have an uneasy relationship with religion. But I have a very strong belief in the power of positive thinking and the energy that can produce.

If you’re the praying type, could you say a prayer for Luke and his family? He’s a very kind, intelligent, and generous man. He’s a strong, guiding force in making The Nerdery one of the awesomest places on Earth. Somehow the company manages to balance the aspects needed to be a strong, successful company with being decent human beings intent on helping people. You need only look at the Overnight Website Challenge to see some of the good Luke & The Nerdery have done.

If you’re the vibe-giving type, send some vibes his way so that he and his sons are back with Ginger and the rest of their family soon.

The post Shine on til tomorrow appeared first on I Will Dare.