And in my hour of darkness there is still a light that shines on me

Ever since my mom called on Friday afternoon with the news, The Beatles’ “Let it Be” has been playing on repeat in my head.

“Let it Be” has never been a particular favorite of mine. I tend to like the more happy, poppy Beatles rather than the melancholy, soaked with meaning Beatles. I’m more “I Want to Hold Your Hand” than “I am the Walrus.”

Usually in times of great fear and turmoil, my internal jukebox turns to “Confetti” by The Lemonheads. I could never explain why that song, it just works. The lyrics aren’t particularly comforting or even, well, meaningful.

But on Friday, when the test results weren’t in our favor my brain clamped onto “Let it Be” and has not let go. I think the Catholicism of my youth has flared up through the grey matter and latched onto something that I can accept on an intellectual level. I have very definite beliefs about Lennon & McCartney, Jesus & Mary I’m not so sure about. But you know, we Catholics dig on Mary. And here I am in an hour of darkness and Paul McCartney’s comforting me. It’s weird.

I’m being purposefully oblique here. I don’t feel comfortable explaining in any kind of depth what is going on. The specifics don’t matter, I suppose. My mom is sick and I am scared. That’s about all I’m comfortable sharing right now.

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8 Comments

  1. phantomxii 24.Oct.10 at 10:58 pm

    If Sir Paul is giving you strength, go with it. I hope things take a turn for the better.

    Reply
  2. Jodi 24.Oct.10 at 11:03 pm

    Thank you.

    Reply
  3. Kurtis 25.Oct.10 at 6:02 am

    Jodi, the Mary in the song is actually Paul’s mum, Mary McCartney, who died when he was a boy.

    Hope your own mum is better soon.

    Reply
  4. Kevin Fenton 25.Oct.10 at 7:21 am

    Jodi, My thoughts are with you and “Let It be” is in my head as a prayer.

    Reply
  5. Tori 25.Oct.10 at 8:27 am

    I am sorry to hear that the test results are not in your mom’s favor. You, she, and your family are in my thoughts.

    “Let It Be” was a great source of comfort to me when my mom had a health problem a few years ago. I also always thought the song was about Jesus’s mom, not Paul’s.

    Reply
  6. LaWanica 25.Oct.10 at 9:48 am

    Jodi, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Whatever it is that she is battling, I pray that she’ll get through it. Stay strong.

    Reply
  7. Jodi 25.Oct.10 at 9:05 pm

    Thank you all. Sometimes the Internet blows me away with its kindness.

    Reply
  8. Hypster Mom 26.Oct.10 at 1:20 pm

    Thinking of you. Hang in there. It is a helpless feeling having someone you love seriously sick. Sending you good vibes and energy to get through this, because you will.

    Reply

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