Dear Darling Ones, I was supposed to go back to work today. I really need to go back to work. I have at least three projects now overdue and one more soon to be overdue. If I do not work I do not get paid. Unfortunately, the dad’s death did not turn me into an obscenely rich heiress. My inheritance was 157 wheat pennies and an old, inoperable Kodamatic instant camera (more on this at a later date). And yet,…
Hi Darling Ones, If you’re an avid consumer of any kind of media — books, tv, movies — you’re familiar with this trope. It’s the one where you learn of someone’s death and you do not cry. For my entire life as a well-known and copious cryer I thought this was some writerly bullshit. Kind of like letting go of a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in or doing anything with ever fiber of your being. Then…
Well, Darling Ones, My dad died so early on Friday, September 16th it still felt like Thursday night. He died after Sister #4 got here from South Dakota but before Sister #2 arrived from Oregon. Before he died, my dad agreed to see us, finally giving up the grudge he had been holding onto since June. So, Sister #4 got to say goodbye and make peace with him. We are happy she had that opportunity since she was the one…
Well, Darling Ones, It seems I’m going to blog my way through this time as my dad lays dying. I really need to document my existence right now and I do not have the mental or emotional capacity to examine the reasons at the moment. Jodi Ann Chromey, you might be thinking, why are you not spending every remaining moment you have left with your dad? I can’t and I won’t, that’s why. Stop being so judgey. I can’t because…
Uffda, Darling Ones, Today was rough. As I mentioned yesterday, telling my clients about my dad being in hospice weighed heavily on my mind. Since I had a pre-scheduled call with a client, I ripped the Band-Aid off with her. I only cried a little, mostly because she called me, “a force of joy in the world.” Hell, I’m crying again typing it. She was super understanding and gently encouraged me to tell my clients and everyone I know. She…
Well, Darling Ones, My dad started hospice care over the weekend. His death is imminent and they’re keeping him comfortable until it arrives. This sucks. Do you want me to list all the ways this sucks? It’s a long list. Most of the ways are complicated and hard to explain. Families are complicated and hard to explain. All this grows exponentially as death hovers and dysfunction comes home to roost. I’m doing my best to be at peace with everything…
