The COVID Diaries: Wormhole Manifestation

Dear Darling Ones, Much like you, I’m really very tired of living through unprecedented times and major historical events on the reg. It’s weird how everything can be chaotic all the time and yet I’m frequently so fucking bored that I can feel my brain cells dying because they can’t think of anything better to do. I’m not gonna write about the turnip or peaches…

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The COVID Diaries: It’s a Metaphor

Hi Darling Ones, Every year for Christmas Sister #4 gets me a hostess gift for letting her stay with me and also for hosting all our holiday events. It’s usually a random item off my Amazon wishlist. One year she got me an aqua-colored can opener. One year it was a Cameron from “Ferris Bueller” Funko Pop. It’s always super sweet and thoughtful. I try…

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The COVID Diaries: A Goddamn Delight

Hi Darling Ones, This weekend I made the extremely smart decision to re-read Kevin Brockmeier’s The Brief History of the Dead, a novel about the end of the world caused by a viral pandemic that decimates most of the world’s population except for one woman living in extreme isolation in Minnesota Antarctica. There’s even a bit about people with websites documenting the end of the…

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The COVID Diaries: How Do You Sleep at Night?

Dear Darling Ones, I’ve suffered with insomnia for most of my life. I had a tumultuous, insecure childhood which made me anxious and unable to sleep. When Ronald Reagan was elected I spent most of the 80s awake in my bed fearing nuclear war. My battles with sleep have been well-chronicled in the pixels of I Will Dare. Since I was a kid one of…

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The COVID Diaries: What to Do After the First Coup Attempt

Yeah, Darling Ones, I don’t even know what to fucking say. How do you bounce back from a white supremacist mob of terrorists overtaking the capitol at the behest of the President in the middle of a pandemic while the police and military basically greet the dirtbags with open doors and warm cookies? Like do I come back here and make masturbation jokes while whining…

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The COVID Diaries: I Think This Makes Me an Influencer

Darling Ones, Sometimes when I start these letters I feel like I need to confess. Forgive me Darling Ones, for I have sinned. I did not write as much as I could have because I spent most of my time wiggling to Ike Reilly’s “Salesmen & Racists” record numerous times in a row. In fact, the only reason I turned it off is because I…

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The COVID Diaries: A Total Ripoff

Hi Darling Ones, I’m struggling today. It’s alternately pissing me off and leaving me flat on my back staring up the ceiling fan while tears stream from my eyes. First of all, today is Sister #3’s birthday and apparently it’s making me feel some things. Don’t worry, I wont got into it again. Second of all, it’s been eight days since I’ve seen another human…

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