i’ve got the lonely christmas eve eve blues. i don’t know why. just sorta blue.

i’m avoiding sleep, because i’ve been plagued by wretched nightmares the past two nights. plus, i’m a little worried that i really am gonna die in three weeks and i don’t want to die. i’m not ready yet. there’s so much i haven’t done yet and i just can’t die in three weeks.

i’ve been worried sick about it since i had the dream the other night. if i think about it too much my throat starts to close and i have to breathe really deeply to prevent myself from crying.

i hate dreams sometimes. i just wish i could fall into a nice, dreamless sleep for a few hours.