Daily Truffle Fuckery & Other Important Updates

Hello Darling Ones,

Every year for Christmas I buy a boatload of Lindt Lindor Truffles. This year I think I got like 200 truffles for $25, because I’m both fancy and cheap. They’re pretty much the only candy I buy for the holidays because they delicious and feel special. They are a big hit with everyone who travels through Supergenius HQ and I usually make everyone take a handful of them home because 200 truffles is a lot of truffles.

The truffles have been on the coffee table since December 27th when I hosted Rock & Roll Bookclub. Every single god damn day since December 28th, Wendell trots downstairs, jumps on the coffee table and commences with the Truffle Fuckery.

I’m not sure what the fuck this is all about. At first I thought he was gonna steal them, thinking they were a tray of shiny cat toys. He frequently tries to steal cherries for this exact reason. But he doesn’t steal them. He licks incessantly at the wrappers for like a minute, and then he rubs his face against them. He repeats the whole process two or three times and then he jumps down to do his other cat business.

That cat is a weirdo.

In other important updates, yesterday I read Antigone Rising: The Subversive Power of the Ancient Myths by Helen Morales. It was very good. However, my brain kept pronouncing it Anti-gone. I don’t know if I will ever be able to not pronounce it Anti-Gone because I went to high school in the late eighties/first six months of 1990. We read the play Antigone in 12th grade honors English. While the rest of my dummy classmates were literally watching movies for their senior year English class, me and the other smartypants were reading Sophocles (and Volatire and Dumas and Plath and Chaucer). Wanna know what else happened when I was taking senior honors English? “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure” played the $1 movie theater. As you can imagine So-Crates begat Anti-Gone begat a rewiring of my brain that I have been unable undo for thirty-two years. The entire class pronounced it Anti-Gone, and because our English teacher was super rad she just went with it.

In the most important update of them all, I am making chili. I’ve been making chili since about noon today.

You may not remember this, but I am an award-winning chili artiste. Since cooking measurements are for chumps, each pot of chili I make is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Another things all my chilis have in common? They’re fucking delicious.

The best thing about chili, which I make once a year for reasons that will become clear in a moment, is its remixability. Sure these meals are more commonly known as leftovers, but I like to pretend my life is exciting and sexy.

How do I remix chili? Let me count the ways.

  1. Chili cheese dogs
  2. Chili cheese fries
  3. Chili cheese burritos
  4. Chili nachos
  5. Chili omelettes
  6. Chili tot hotdish

I usually don’t get to all these dishes during round one of chili. Right about chili cheese burritos I am chilied out and shove the rest of it in the freezer until I can stomach round two.

Chillingly yours (it’s supposed to be a high of -2ยบ tomorrow),

(Visited 84 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.