Beauty Crowds Me Until I Die

I bought the fucking bag, and if I were the type of person to rewrite my own bullshit history, I’d go delete those last two posts. I bought the fucking bag for two reasons.

First, this comment by Kelly who pointed out the enduring beauty of the lovely bag. All the other “just buy it you idiot” comments were helpful too. But it was the “Itíll outlast any damn electronic piece of toxin-leeching yuckiness that you EVER BUY EVER” that got me thinking.

Then this morning, I hauled this behemouth from the floor onto the couch to dig out some Altoids.

This is the bag I’ve been hauling about lately, especially when I need to bring Enid someplace. It might look like your basic brown leather tote, but when I purchased it in 1995 it had the dubious distinction of being the most expensive non-school bag I’d ever purchased. There was a purple Jansport backpack I bought at the UWEC bookstore in 1994 that might have been something ridiculous like $30 or $40. The brown tote was probably in the $25-$30 range, and procured at the TJ Maxx in the London Square Mall.

If this bag were a human it could drive and soon legally procure cigarettes and lottery tickets. And the bag that I carry for non-Enid outings? It’s from the 60s or 70s. It’s about my age. If it was a dude, I’d probably have a crush on it and flirt with it on Twitter.

I must confess, none of my electronics even made it to being annoying tweens. So yes, I’m spending $240 on a bag. And using Peabo-like math, if I carry this bag for as long as I’ve hauled ol’ brownie there, it’s only like $14 a year. TOTALLY WORTH IT!

I bought the fucking bag. It should be here in 10ish weeks, which is, incidentally, the exact amount of time until my FORTIETH! birthday.

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  1. todd 02.Apr.12 at 1:48 am

    Good for you. Don’t abandon “ol’ brownie” just yet. It looks like she’s served her purpose and has held up fairly well. She’s still a sensible bag for these changing times.

    1. Jodi 02.Apr.12 at 3:28 pm

      @todd, I’m pretty sure my niece, Jaycie, will inherit Brownie when I die. The bag is indestructible. I spilled orange juice in it sometime around 1996, and still she lives on.

  2. shokkou 02.Apr.12 at 5:28 am

    ‘atta grrl! Be nice to yourself. My mother taught me “If you want a diamond ring, buy yourself a diamond ring. Don’t wait for somebody to give you one.” I expect the same goes for anything fabulous a heart may desire.

    1. Jodi 02.Apr.12 at 3:29 pm

      @shokkou, I love that kind of attitude. I usually have it too. I don’t know why I waffled so much on the bag. Perhaps I just hadn’t looked assholey enough on the Internet and needed to remedy that.

  3. Lori 02.Apr.12 at 5:02 pm

    Perfect timing.

  4. Doug 04.Apr.12 at 8:27 am

    You have achieved the balance of being both pragmatic and… what’s that word I’m trying to think of? You know, where it’s not absolutely essential–eh, you get the idea (too bad my brain doesn’t always give me ready access to my vocabulary I know is in there somewhere).

    That you fretted over it first is what keeps you from being insufferable. And is why you’ll never get your own reality show.

    1. Jodi 04.Apr.12 at 8:29 am

      @Doug, A reality show of my life would either be the most amazing thing ever or the most boring thing ever, depending on how much dope the watched had smoked before tuning in.


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