Attempts made on Jem and/or The Holograms’ lives during the first six episodes

The Hub is showing Jem & The Holograms, and you can bet your sweet ass I’m Tivoing the shit out of it. In fact, I happened to catch a mini-marathon yesterday morning. It’s been decades since I’ve seen the original series, and I was taken aback by just how evil The Misfits are. I’m all for petty shenanigans and trash talk, but these bitches don’t mess around. To wit, here are the ways in which The Misfits and/or Eric Raymond tired to kill Jem and/or The Holograms (this does not include the two or three kidnappings):

  • The Misfits throw musical instruments at Jem & The Hologram’s as they drive high-speed down a freeway
  • The Misfits try to run the Holograms’ roadster off a cliff
  • A thug (The Thug) hired by Eric Raymond sets the Starlight House, where Jem & The Holograms live, on fire
  • One of The Misfits attempts to run over Jerrica Benton with some sort of tractor
  • The Thug plants a bomb under a couch cushion at the mansion Jem & The Holograms relocated to after the fire at Starlight House
  • The Misfits attempt to drive the yacht Jem & The Holograms are partying on into some sort of large ship
  • While filming a video in Paris, Jem is nearly smushed by a gargoyle that plummets from the building after The Thug loosens it
  • Jem is caught in the middle of an electrical fire caused after The Misfits storm off the set of an interview with a famous VJ
  • Aja is stuffed in the baggage area of a bus
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  1. Christa 30.May.11 at 10:31 am

    Sometime in the mid-1980s there was a contest where Jem fans were invited to call a 1-800 number and sing the Jem theme song and win something that probably wasn’t that great.

    I think I called that number 300 times while at a slumber party. I never heard if we won.

  2. Jodi 30.May.11 at 10:33 am

    Oh man. I can’t believe I missed that contest. I will have to content myself with the fact that I did send in a coupon from some Sweet Valley contest and still have the “My Heart Belongs in Sweet Valley” poster (and notepad).

  3. Christa 30.May.11 at 10:36 am

    I guess my shining moment was getting a “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure” T-shirt by saving proofs of purchase from a cereal box.

    If you want, I can still sing that theme song for you.

  4. Jodi 30.May.11 at 10:42 am

    I’d be more impressed if you could sing The Misfits song. From what I can remember, without googling, they go something like this: We are the Misfits, our songs are bitter, and we’re gonna git her.


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