Notice of official policy changes for Supergenius, Inc. & I Will Dare

In an effort to maximize resources and minimize ishiness, the Department of Policies & Practices at I Will Dare (a subsidiary of Supergenius, Inc.) has made a few additions to the 382 policies that govern this loosely held conglomeration of bombast (incidentally we have also formed a committee to look into changing our tagline, officially, to “peddler of bombast”).

On the surface these new policies may look as though we’ve turned into a humorless prig, a sensitive sally, or, simply, no fun. Au contraire, mon frere. This is just not true. In fact, it is in an attempt to save humor and have more of the fun that we have decided it is in our best interest to make these policies official and applicable across the entire corporation.

NEW Policy #383: Refusal to laugh at obvious jokes (aka “dad” jokes)
This policy first sprang to life (unofficially of course) while attending the Ben Greenman reading at The Loft. During the introduction, the introducer dude made a crack about how Greenman is an editor at a “little, struggling literary magazine” we might have heard of called The New Yorker. While the audience laughed (politely, I hope), my cheeks burned with embarrassment for the introdude.

Some people will mistakenly assume this has always been the official policy of Supergenius, Inc. It has not. But we’ve been testing it out, specifically on Wolfdogg who only made a lame pun during Rock & Roll Bookclub but then proceeded to applaud that pun. Because of the unofficial (at that time) policy, we pointed out that lame pun and the subsequent applause.

We also reserve the right to announce upon being subjected to obvious jokes, “that’s so funny I forgot to laugh.”

We have made it our goal to eradicate bad and/or obvious humor where ever we see it. This might sound harsh, but we know you are better than that and will hold you to a higher standard.

Speaking of eradication this brings us to our next change.

NEW Policy #384: Zero tolerance when it comes to posts/tweets/status updates that hurt our feelings or offend us
This seems like it should be common sense, however, in the Internet age it is not. I am willing to admit it might not be common sense to me, which makes sense. For many years I would finish books I didn’t enjoy, sit through movies I found boring, and laugh at jokes that weren’t funny (see Policy #383), it never occurred to me that I had the option to quit.

Duh.

Double-duh because I have long espoused unsubscribing from blogs/writers who drive you crazy. Of course, I only started espousing this after the aforementioned Wolfdogg told me to stop reading Bitchface if she drove me so nuts. I think part of me wanted to be driven nuts. Reading her insecure, poorly-written asinine commentary fed my ego, made me feel better than her. It’s ugly, but true.

But then it dawned on me that I was giving an awful lot of my energy to someone I didn’t like. Smooth move, Exlax.

The same is true with Facebook “friends” and people you follow on Twitter. If someone makes some sort of (what they deem as) keen observation about a group of people that you find offensive (or hurts your feelings), unfollow. Don’t think twice about it. If the observation is offensive enough (as happened with me this weekend when a friend I was following on Twitter made a rude, insensitive crack at the expense of fat people) you will unfollow without even thinking about it.

At least that’s what I did. I unfollowed so fast I didn’t even think about his feelings, or that my action may lead to an awkward conversation down the road. I didn’t care. What he said offended me and hurt my feelings. I don’t need to be offended in my own Twitter stream. Nobody does.

It’s the only way to go. We don’t need to invite people into our lives who make us feel ishy, which is exactly why we’ve instituted these new policies at Supergenius, Inc.

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9 Comments

  1. FS 21.Sep.10 at 6:34 am

    Zero tolerance policies substitute blind adherence to a simplistic rule for actual thought processes about circumstances. If you cut out someone for the mere mention of something you don’t care for, you’ll rather rapidly find yourself with no one left.

    But yes, dad jokes suck.

    Reply
  2. margosita 21.Sep.10 at 10:27 am

    “Its the only way to go. We dont need to invite people into our lives who make us feel ishy, which is exactly why weve instituted these new policies at Supergenius, Inc.”

    Amen.

    The only people who might not get an automatic “unfriend” or “unfollow” are those who are really close and dear to me, in non-internet life. But if they said something objectionable they would get an e-mail asking for an apology/explanation.

    Reply
  3. Jodi 21.Sep.10 at 10:33 am

    FS — consider yourself unfriended. In all seriousness though, I think you are right to some degree. Upon reflection, I think my “zero tolerance” is mis-labeled (or perhaps labeled thus for comedy’s sake). It really is more of a three strikes you’re out, though without the official counting.

    I use the Ad Blog I unsubscribed from a few weeks ago as an example. Say two months ago, I read a post that was pretty sexist, but kind of dismissed it. But over the next few weeks, I kept noticing the sexism and it was making uncomfortable. Then there was the post about how it was “sexist to ask your wife to do housework.” It was awful, and I unsubscribed immediately.

    The same goes for the friend I unfollowed — the harsh judgments were kind of building and the last comment put me over the edge. It felt Zero Tolerance at the time of the unfollowing, but, like i said, upon reflection it really wasn’t.

    Reply
  4. Dabysan 21.Sep.10 at 1:18 pm

    So is this where I have to comment now? Feels so impersonal. Will people take it the wrong way if I call you a brownie-loving doofus?

    Reply
  5. FS 21.Sep.10 at 1:49 pm

    This from Mr. Password Protected blog.

    Reply
  6. Jodi 21.Sep.10 at 2:08 pm

    Yeah, what FS said. I like to think this is pretty personal and friendly. But what can you expect from a pie-loving moron?

    Reply
  7. hotrod 22.Sep.10 at 12:35 pm

    God, it kills me to defend Jodi, but she does have a point. Or, I guess FS does. If Jodi and me ganging up on Dabysan is a sign of a new world order, then I guess I officially miss Vox.

    Reply
  8. Dabysan 01.Oct.10 at 12:56 pm

    Alright, fine, I seem to have figured out the identity issues that were troubling my transition. I’m not promising to update though.

    Reply
  9. FS 01.Oct.10 at 1:01 pm

    It’s a little…sparer looking than the old blog.

    Reply

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