It keeps me from beating myself up

When she was in high school my best friend Jodi Hanson had a huge crush on Freedom Williams (thirty-two double plus bonus points if you remember him before you read the next sentences). This might have been the summer between her sophomore and junior years because I remember coming to visit from Wisconsin, entering her room, and finding her sitting on the edge of her very tall waterbed with a remote in her hand. She had been watching, rewinding, and watching again the “Gonna Make You Sweat” video.

“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m watching it over and over so I all the things that bug me about Freedom won’t bug me anymore,” she said. “I’ll just be used to them.”

For the past, oh, twenty years I’ve thought she was totally insane for doing that. Now, I am ashamed to admit, I can kind of relate.

Ever since Gideon drowned a two weeks ago, I’ve been a little scattered. Matters have not been helped by the fact that I’ve had a lot of work to do in a short amount of time. I still do, in fact. Putting these two conditions together has led me to make some minor, stupid, and annoying mistakes. Mistakes like putting the wrong date for an event on a newsletter, forgetting to properly check-in some files, and well that’s all I can think of right now. Are these major earth-destroying, baby killing problems? No. Are they worse than that time I goofed up the phone number and had our customers calling an “adult” phone line? No. Do I still beat myself up about them as if they were? Yes.

Self-esteem around these parts has been pretty close to zero, and I’ve been a little bit blue. But yesterday I discovered something that cheers me up, at least for three minutes and twenty-nine seconds. Are you ready?

Yeah, it’s a doofy kid signing to a Miley Cyrus song. I cannot stop watching it. I’ve probably seen it about 48 times since yesterday. I find this kid irresistible. And you need not remind me that I’m old enough to be his knocked-up in high school unwed teenage mother. I know that, and I don’t care. Coo coo ca choo, darling ones.

Long time I Will Dare readers will know exactly what it is I love about this song and the cutie signing it. The rest of you will have to suffer without the knowledge of the fetishes that thrive in my depraved mind.

If I had a waterbed, you’d find me sitting on the edge of it with a remote rewinding this over and over and over. Only I wouldn’t be trying to acclimate myself to annoying ticks. Oh no, I’d be trying to decide which part of the video is the most adorable (probably 0:54, you know why or maybe the look on his face at 1:50 or maybe I need to stop).

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  1. steve 04.May.10 at 11:34 am

    I watched the whole thing. I can’t believe I’m about to say, “That was awesome.”

  2. Jodi 04.May.10 at 11:36 am

    It really is a mystery. I’m not sure why watching a goofy twentysomething signing to a pop princess’ song is so awesome, but it is. It totally is. (I’ve already watched it three times today)

  3. tito 04.May.10 at 5:50 pm

    dope enough? indeed.


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