My mom threatened to tell the Internet on me

My mom is still struggling with Facebook. She kind of grasps the concept but doesn’t quite realize that you can actively read your friends’ updates without responding or updating yourself.

Tonight, at Jaycie & Max’s birthday party, she was telling us how she noticed that a woman she went to high school with had just joined Facebook and she’s really curious about what this woman is up to.

“You remember her,” Mom said to Sister #2. “She was the one who did a lot of drugs.” [considering my mom graduated from high school in 1969, this descriptor doesn’t really narrow down the field of possibilities]
“Are you friends with her?” Sister #2 asked.
“We grew up together!” Mom said, chastising Sister #2 for asking such a stupid question.
“Facebook friends,” everyone in the room shouted at her.

By the time in the conversation, I was laughing so hard I tears were streaming from my eyes.

“Oh God,” I said, gasping for breath and clutching Ziggy. “I’m going to tell the Internet.”
“Well,” she said getting up and flinging her Mickey Mouse tote bag* over her shoulder and making typing motions with her fingers. “I’m going to go home and type bad things about you on Facebook.”

This, of course, caused much more uproarious laughter.

*The Mickey Mouse Tote Bag is something one of her customers made for her (my parents own a small diner in Savage now), it even sports her name in bright yellow thread on the front pocket. Seriously, it looks like a bag a six-year-old would love. Of course, my mom loves it. She loves it so much that she called Sister #4 in South Dakota to brag about the awesomeness of the bag. Even though I was forewarned about the bag, when Mom showed up at Supergenius HQ last week and started showing off the bag, I couldn’t control my laughter. And when she finally revealed her name on the front I burst into tears from laughing so hard. Apparently, she’s still a little mad about it, because tonight she told my sisters about how I laughed at it and I was the worst daughter ever.

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