Now I own a cupcake pan?

I don’t know what it is about anxiety, but apparently one of its side-effects is making one think she is Betty Crocker. I still don’t have an official offer from The Most Perfect Job on Earth and now I am under the delusion that I can make cupcakes and wild rice soup.

I am two days away from owning a blender and a bundt cake pan.

Last night I spent a lot of time talking to Peabo about desire and being afraid of wanting something too much. It’s as though your overpowering desire will thwart you in your quest to get what you want. We couldn’t decide if that was a Woman Thing or a Minnesota Thing, or, the worst of all, a Minnesota Woman Thing.

I’m hoping that tonight’s Sarah Vowell reading will help preoccupy my mind. If not, I’m turning to my BFF, Gin.

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10 Comments

  1. Jason 21.Oct.08 at 1:18 pm

    That does not sound like a woman thing! That sounds like an uncertainty thing because the more you want something the harder your failure will feel. Or maybe it doesn’t make you happy and then you stop trusting what you want and it is just a mess.

    Or maybe what you want is just out of your reach and it drives you crazy looking at it. So you want to pretend you don’t want it and then you can pretend not to think about it. That way you can pretend maybe you are happy! That is my trick.

    Reply
  2. Jodi 21.Oct.08 at 1:25 pm

    It is some kind of comfort that it’s not a woman thing. However, I am still anxious.

    I try to only want things I can reach. wanting that unreachable stuff will drive you bonkers.

    Reply
  3. Jason 21.Oct.08 at 1:40 pm

    Oh but it is just…right…there! IF ONLY I WERE A LITTLE TALLER

    Reply
  4. Jodi 21.Oct.08 at 1:42 pm

    I have never, nor will I ever utter the words “if only I were a little taller.”

    Reply
  5. Jason 21.Oct.08 at 1:56 pm

    That is ok. I will never call myself a woman from Minnesota. Now we know each other’s boundaries.

    Reply
  6. Jodi 21.Oct.08 at 2:01 pm

    This is the Internet, you can totally call yourself a woman from Minnesota if you want.

    Reply
  7. Peabo 21.Oct.08 at 6:01 pm

    “I have never, nor will I ever utter the words ‘if only I were a little taller.’ ”

    Oh my god, I just laughed at this so hard people in class stared at me. I can *hear* you saying this statement. You’re fantastic.

    Reply
  8. Doug 22.Oct.08 at 12:27 am

    I am neither a woman (at least when I shower I don’t find those parts) nor from Minnesota (although my dad is), but nonetheless I can assure you that the worst thing you can do is let the universe have any idea what you want. That makes it way too easy for the universe to thwart you. But the trick is that you have to convince yourself that you don’t want what you want; you can’t fake out the universe by pretending.

    Or at least that’s what I try to do. Not particularly well. So I don’t advise following my lead.

    Reply
  9. Heather 22.Oct.08 at 7:38 am

    If you buy that bundt pan, I can send you a recipe for the best sticky buns ever, and they’re not even hard to make!

    I know where you’re coming from with the fretting. I woke up from a dead sleep at 5 this morning with the realization that I won’t have enough money to move. And that I’ll probably have to leave my cat here, which is what really makes me fret. My rambling kind of gives away that I gave up on sleep and got up.

    Anyway. If they’re going to talk about Paul Westerberg, of course you’re going to get the greatest job on earth. All this is, is nothing more than human nature kicking.

    Reply
  10. Heather 22.Oct.08 at 7:39 am

    Kicking in, I dare say.

    Reply

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