Tonight in Minnesota it snowed and then because that doesn’t make driving challenging enough it also decided to rain on top of that and then get cold enough to freeze. As my dad always likes to say, it was slickery.
Much to my own sense of pride, I decided to drive to class in the weather. This doesn’t seem like much. I’m a hearty Minnesotan after all. But two years ago I lost control of Ruby during inclement weather and after taking a brief spin into oncoming traffic we landed on the side of the hill.
Thankfully our damages were only cosmetic, and, well, psychological. I spaz when I have to drive in the snow.
But I did drive and I made it to The Loft just fine. Class was wonderful, and then it was time to go Grumpy’s.
I took one step outside the door of The Loft, and the next thing I know I’m laying face down on the Washington Ave. sidewalk. I gotta hand it to my walking companions Ken and Vodo, they were really concerned. I, of course, would have been trying to get my “are you all rights” out around a gaggle of giggles. People falling is funny. And I am sure tall people falling is probably the funniest of all because it’s a long way down.
The sidewalk which I had mistaken as wet was, in fact, covered in ice.
So there I was belly down in the middle of the sidewalk, a giant starfish, my legs and arms spread out. I wanted to die. Ken and Vodo kept asking me if I was okay, if I had bumped my head and various other questions of concern I couldn’t hear. I was too busy resting my cheek on the ice and praying the earth would open up and swallow me whole.
Since Vodo and Ken refused to get me a blanket, a beer, and some tator tots so I could die of shame happily. I got up on shaky feet, my right arm already aching because it took the brunt of my weight and prevented my face from smashing into the ground, and gimped it on over to Grumpys. Where I, surprisingly, did not die of shame and I got to meet The Deets. Which is a whole post unto itself.