Losing it

Having a family of four come and invade my home is rougher than I ever imagined it’d be, and I thought it would be pretty bad. It doesn’t help that I’m sleep deprived, unemployed, and slated to get my period any minute.

I’m having a breakdown and crying every ten minutes whenever I think about virtually anything. Sister #3 hates it here. The boys hate it here. We’re all miserable and there’s nothing I can do to make it any better. It’s a no-win situation, which makes me cry even harder. Voicing any displeasure means I’m “not being supportive.”

Today I lost it and cried about how I could use a little support. It seems everyone here has forgotten that I’m going through a bit of trauma all on my own aside from the whole invasion.

I’m so frustrated and I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine what could make this shitty situation better. It hurts my feelings that she’s so miserable here. I’ve tried to be as open and as accommodating as I can be, and it’s not good enough.

I’m just so lost and hurt and afraid that I don’t even know what to do anymore.

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11 Comments

  1. Lerren 01.Mar.08 at 8:17 pm

    I sent you an email a few days ago regarding this – I understand far more than you can imagine. If you want to talk about it with someone who really gets this part, just let me know.

    Reply
  2. Jodi 01.Mar.08 at 8:18 pm

    Oh yes, I forgot. I need to go read that e-mail. Please accept my apologies, I’m not at the top of my game right now.

    Reply
  3. christa 01.Mar.08 at 9:00 pm

    i was wondering how stressful that would be: one home filled with every emotion in the alphabet. hang in there, jodi.

    Reply
  4. Tam 01.Mar.08 at 9:59 pm

    The Wonder Hubby and I send you lots of good wishes & hugs. The puppies would also like to donate some sloppy puppy kisses and leg humping.

    If you ever need to escape, you’re more than welcome in the wilds of New Hamster.

    Reply
  5. bakiwop 01.Mar.08 at 10:03 pm

    “there’s nothing I can do to make it any better”

    that’s not true. there are two things you can do to make it better:

    1) keep doing what you are doing. help out the family as you can while making sure to take time for yourself to deal with what you’re dealing with. your family is lucky to have someone like you to help them out like this and you are a talented writer and good worker who will find another job.

    and

    2) vote often, vote bakiwop

    Reply
  6. PeeWee 02.Mar.08 at 1:43 am

    You could run away to NYC, I would make sure you have fresh brownies every day while you are here.
    Wish I could give you a big hug, because I don’t know what else to say.

    Reply
  7. shokkou 02.Mar.08 at 12:17 pm

    You could hand her the number of the local women’s shelter and tell her “Adjust the attitude or take it on the road, biatch. I’ve got my own shit going on right now and don’t owe you crap.” Or, leave sis and the kids your place for a few days and check into the local women’s shelter yourself. A sick mini-vacation of sorts.

    Reply
  8. jags 02.Mar.08 at 3:02 pm

    As open and accomodating as you have been (and I know you have been!), it cannot begin to make up for the fact that her entire life has been ripped apart and the lives of her three babies have been irrevokably changed. Being critical of the current living situation is something concrete she can focus on. Way easier for her to sweat the small stuff. As unfair as it is, I’m guessing she minimizes your enormous life change right now becasue she can’t see past her family and home disappearing. If I were you, I’d be checking out flight schedules for a pre-job hunt mini-vacation. You’re very welcome to come escape to my crazy messy house with 3 kids and a missing dad. Hmmmm. Perhaps not what you’re looking for, but the offer is sincere. You are an awesome sister to help them and with time she will believe it was good enough. Until then, hang in there. And call anytime.

    Reply
  9. UH 02.Mar.08 at 3:22 pm

    Yeah, a vacation is just the ticket.

    Come to Disney World next week, I’ll be there for ten days. I’ll buy you a (bunch of) drink(s) and we can sing karaoke.

    Reply
  10. Gabriel 03.Mar.08 at 7:10 pm

    Hey I just stumbled on this page but that sounds like some bad situation you have there. Hugs are the answer to everything though, I’d give you one but I’m in England. Vote yes on hugs! Walk out into the street and hug a stranger, it’ll help. Good luck :D.

    Reply
  11. david 03.Mar.08 at 8:27 pm

    Come to Austin next week and be Largehearted Boy’s roving correspondent (I am totally serious). Did I mention my wife is a licensed massage therapist? The stress will melt away, I promise.

    Reply

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