I wrote a poem about fairytales and rainbows

Tuesday was my last night of poetry class. I cannot say I am sad to see it go. Poetry was tough for me and made me long for the fiction that I love so much. I will miss hanging out Peabo and Polly Pockets, but still at least I won’t have to write any more really shitty poetry.

And oh, darling ones, my poetry was shitty.

In fact my poetry was so shitty that last night while I was reading my Sestina, I burst out laughing at the shittiness of my own writing. Which was much better then when buffoons laughed at my dead babies poem.

So the deal with the Sestina is that you have to write a poem that repeats six words in a prescribed order. As a class we choose our six words. They were: desire, child, play, bullet, close (like in shutting the door), and rain.

Yeah. Does that look easy? Well it’s not. You can only have so many things rain down in a poem, and you’d be amazed how many things can be “like a bullet.”

All that being said. I think of the three poems I wrote for class, this one was my favorite. Probably because it was about sex. You can read it after the jump.

The twisted covers roused the memory of desire
I rolled over to erase the picture, the rain
of memory could not be stemmed. Like a child
who tries to change the weather, so they can play
I rearranged the covers, making sure to close
my eyes, only to see his body, a sleek bullet

That last time the sun pierced the windows, a bullet
ending the night before where desire
was not spent. He did bring to a close
any fairy tale I entertained featuring a rain –
bow. I was only a toy for him to play
with. I ignored that he was a child

Who would not be denied his child-
like whims, but he was a bullet
shiny and dangerous. What could it hurt to play
with the object of my desire?
He touched me and I was slick like rain
I panted waiting for him to close

the distance between our bodies. Close!
I whimpered and begged like a child
waiting for him to rain
down on me. Oh but he was a bullet
quick and deadly. His desire
hot and forbidden was not mine to play

with. I could never be more than a bit part in his play
and despite his words, his fingers reached to close
around my nipple, and I drowned in our desire.
It surrounded me, swaddled like a newborn child
and in the rush of orgasm I forgot the bullet
until the morning when there was no rain

to hide behind, only truth. I longed for rain
to wash away our sordid, sensuous play.
Instead the sun shone. My shame was brilliant, like a bullet,
obvious and obtrusive. The door clicked behind, a final close.
I shut my eyes so I could be that child
changing things with the force of my desire.

Tonight I could not stem the rain. I could not close
the memory of our disastrous play. I was a child
wounded by the bullet that was my desire.

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  1. shokkou 06.Aug.07 at 11:02 am

    You lost me at “his body, a sleek bullet” – i got a visual of Zippy the Pinhead making out. NO! Out of my HEAD Zippy! Gah. Day is ruined. Thx a lot. :o)

  2. Jodi 06.Aug.07 at 11:04 am

    Did you miss the part where I said the poem was shitty? I warned you.

  3. shokkou 06.Aug.07 at 11:15 am

    I thought maybe you were just being too hard on yourself. My bad. :oD

  4. Jodi 06.Aug.07 at 11:17 am

    Nope. I am all about the honesty.

  5. UH 06.Aug.07 at 12:17 pm

    “Bullet” is a tough word to have in a poem. It’s very abrupt when spoken, and it carries a lot of emotional baggage with it. With the other words, it’s almost like a Sesame Street “one of these things is not like the other” sketch.

  6. Heather 06.Aug.07 at 4:56 pm

    It’s not so much that the poem itself is shitty, but it’s the fact that you’re used to writing with great detail, so too much tries to work its way into the poem. Don’t feel too bad, I’ve read much much worse, and the sad part is, the stupid girl doesn’t realize that she writes shitty poetry.

    And “bullet” is a tough word to put in a poem, I will agree with that.

  7. phil 06.Aug.07 at 8:16 pm

    damn…you might need to get some.maybe just go get drunk and have a one nighter


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