Dear World,

When you say, “Gee you look tired.” That is not what I hear. What I hear is:
“You look like so much stink that I can actually see the stink lines emanating from your stinky, stinky body. You are not pretty. In fact you are generally ugly and you should try to get some beauty sleep because you can really use it. Dumbass.”

So World, let’s cut it with the you look tired. Because, well, I am tired. I am really very tired because Jags, Kelly, Vodo, and the Redhead who remains unnicknamed but is really very funny kept me out way too late.

Also, my voice is cracky and Westbergian because last night I talked entirely more than was polite and it was at a volume so loud that Duluth called and asked me to keep it down.

World, I am trying to pull it together here. Really. I even succumbed to the allure of coffee. You know what this means World? Do you?

It means in about 20 minutes I am going to be annoying as fuck. I will go from dead-tired to wired, and around 2:30 I am going to crash and burn with a gloriousness that will probably involve bratty tears filled with self-pity and bitterness. Yummy. Because that’s what happens World when you pretend like you’re 22 and can stay out all night imbibing in laughter and pitchers of beer and still get up for work in the morning.

World, I am so very tired.

Sincerely,
Jodichromeysupergenius