This is what you get for bragging

I can’t tell if I’m coming down with a cold, excessively tired, or sick from sitting in a dark meeting room for the past two days. Probably all of the above.

If it is a cold, it’s totally my fault. I’ve been bragging for the past two weeks about how I’ve gotten this far into winter without a single cold, not even a sniffle! I was giving all credit to the copious amounts of green tea and water I ingest, and the beating of my diet coke with lime habit. I’m down to one diet coke a day. Sometimes I even skip days.

Of course my friends are giving me unending shit, which is just what you want when you’re feeling weak and rundown. If I had any energy at all, I would have smote them with the mighty power of my vitriol. However, it’s tough to do any smiting when your face is permanently scrunched up in that trying not to sneeze face.

Now, instead of paying you to paint the kitchen, I’d pay you to bring over some Vicks Vapo Rub and chicken noodle soup. Sadly, I have to go to the bowling alley where I plan to infect them all with my patented brand of could-be cold germs and crankiness.

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6 Comments

  1. JackassJimmy 26.Jan.07 at 5:58 pm

    Go to target and in the pharmacy in the nutrition section pick up some tangerine flavored Emergen-C.

    Drink this and feel better. This will kick the ass out of your cold or whatever.

    Cheers,
    JJ

    Reply
  2. UH 27.Jan.07 at 3:49 pm

    OK, so I had this dream last night:

    I went to Minnesota for some reason. While I was there, I decided to look you up. I found your house, and when I got there, I saw your truck in the driveway. The keys were in it, so I took it for a drive. I brought it back, parked it, and went to the door and knocked. You answered, and invited me in to play with all your nieces and nephews who were there playing with your two new Shih-Tzu pups. We decided to go get some food, so we got in the truck, and I started to laugh because I had driven it and you didn’t know. We came back and were sitting on the floor with the kids and the pups, and my wife and kids showed up, came in, and sat on the floor with us. Then my brother-in-law came in to tell me about this great new business he’d started which was buying cars cheap in MN and shipping them elsewhere.

    How odd is that?

    Reply
  3. Tam 27.Jan.07 at 5:47 pm

    “If I had any energy at all, I would have smote them with the mighty power of my vitriol.”

    That’s my most favorite sentence EVER. Bonus points for using the word “vitriol”.

    Reply
  4. Jodi 27.Jan.07 at 7:25 pm

    UH, That dream is odd for two reasons.

    1. I do keep my keys in my truck, but only when it’s in the garage.

    2. I can’t believe you had a dream about me that didn’t involve my breasts. I’m kinda disappointed.

    Reply
  5. UH 27.Jan.07 at 7:45 pm

    To tell you the truth, I was bummed out myself. I blame the wife for showing up.

    Reply
  6. Jodi 27.Jan.07 at 7:47 pm

    How cute is that? Even in dreams you are faithful.

    Reply

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