The strategery behind Operation Maneater

For those of you already worrying about Operation Maneater’s success, have no fear there is a plan. First of all, I’m calling it Operation Maneater because “Maneater” is my favorite Hall & Oates song and has nothing to do with the love of money or being tamed by the purr of a Jaguar. However, I am deadly and will rip your world apart. Kelly might be deadly I’m not sure. You should check with her. You have been warned. Incidentally, you can read Kelly’s debrief of our first strike.

Last night while we were making fun of the two obviously single guys in the dorky hats (really boys, a fedora is not cool. Ever), Kelly and I drew up the battle plans. We are not limiting ourselves to Barnes & Noble bookstores. Mostly because Barnes & Noble blows goats. Borders is on the list, so is Magers and Quinn, and if I can con Kelly into it Big Brain Comics over on Washington. Even though the only person I’ve ever seen in there is the Comic Book Guy who owns it or works there and whom I give a nice lustful look every time I walk past his store on my way to Grumpy’s.

I threatened Kelly with an actual map of the greater Twin Cities area and thumbtacks to mark our destination. Then I told her how we’d be calling people from a Waldenbooks in some mall in Cedar Rapids. See? We had a lot of fun.

However, we have no plans at this time to branch out into the world of music stores or anything of that ilk. Though it is a good idea, it’s fraught with danger. Seeing someone pondering bad books is easily forgivable. At least they’re reading, right? But seeing someone with a Barefucking Naked Ladies or Gwen Stefani CD is a deal-breaker right off the bat. Those are the things that should not be disclosed until you’ve spent naked time under the covers together. Once you’re too entangled to want to get out. You know?

So while we appreciate the suggestions, we have a plan. We’re gonna stay the course, thousand points of light, and all that jazz.

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13 Comments

  1. mkh 21.Jan.07 at 1:57 pm

    If a fedora isn’t cool, what kind of hat is?

    But as a fair warning, if you say baseball cap I will lose some respect for you.

    Reply
  2. wolfdog 21.Jan.07 at 2:35 pm

    Suggestions: DreamHaven Books on Lake. And if you are really, really brave…Phoenix Games across the street.

    It’s a slight step up from the Shinders on Hennepin….

    Reply
  3. wolfdog 21.Jan.07 at 2:39 pm

    oh. yeah. dont forget Northwestern Book stores. If you’re looking at snagging a promise-keeper.

    Reply
  4. Jodi 21.Jan.07 at 10:21 pm

    Dude, I couldn’t even walk into the Bibles section of B&N last night without getting zapped.

    Reply
  5. NBFB 22.Jan.07 at 11:40 am

    You obviously haven’t been to a music store in a while. I’ll save you the trouble.

    They all closed. Even Tower Records is bankrupt.

    Everyone blames it on the file sharers and have seemed to overlook the incredibly bad music that has been promoted the last 10-15 years.

    Reply
  6. Jodi 22.Jan.07 at 11:42 am

    Please see the Lupe Fiasco post above. Duh.

    And like I said, I think music is volatile. I mean if I had known what crappy music you had in music, NBFB, we’d have never been friends!

    (ha)

    Reply
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  8. lou 30.Jan.07 at 12:06 pm

    But I actually like the Bare Naked Ladies =(

    Reply
  9. lou 30.Jan.07 at 1:21 pm

    I think some of their stuff is fun. Fun is good.

    …and as a male I feel somehow compelled to say that I like “Bare Naked Ladies.”

    I mean, I wouldn’t want to be heard saying that I *don’t*.

    Reply
  10. Jodi 30.Jan.07 at 1:29 pm

    How do you feel about Silver Naked Ladies?

    Reply
  11. lou 01.Feb.07 at 8:25 am

    I can’t claim to be familiar. But the name does conjure images of a female version of the Silver Surfer for some reason, which does not sound bad at all ;D

    Reply
  12. Jodi 01.Feb.07 at 9:24 am

    It’s a Westerberg song.

    Road maps and bra staps
    8 tracks and mud flaps
    I don’t give a damn
    Cause I’m a freeI’m a free I’m a free old man

    Pulled it right up
    Shoot her the shadey
    All that I want
    Is silver naked lady

    Reply

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