After much thought, I have decided that I am going to change the superpower I wish that I had. For a long time I wanted the ability to flick people really hard right in the ear for any offense I deemed worthy for a really hard flick. I would be able to do the flicking with just a squint of my eyes and a thought. So the flickee would never know who the flicker was.
It would have been grand.
Now I’ve decided that my new superpower would be to look into the heart and soul of men and see what kind of lover they’d be. And not just lover in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense too. To see if they are emotionally-retarded numbskulls or if they are semi-sane regular men. Then, I could use my powers for good and warn all my girl friends away from the numbskulls.
I’d be the best superhero ever.
And if I could have a second superpower I would gain the power to WiFi Bill Wither’s “Lovely Day” onto Kathleen Turner Overdrive, because I can’t seem to stop singing it over and over and over again in my head (it was not, incidentally, the Post-it Note Morning song, that was Rock the Casbah).