If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord that the New York Times will run my obit

An integral part of my morning-ritual is the New York Times obits. I am obsessed with them. Sometimes I’ll check them throughout the day just to make sure nobody obscurely important died when I wasn’t looking.

I am generally a goalless nincompoop when it comes to aspirations and what have you, but I do desire to someday do something worthy of a New York Times obituary. Based on the current list if I do just a little bit more than toil in obscurity (which is kind of what I do most of the time), I might make the cut. Here’s a partial list of occupations from the dead people feature in the Obits:
Orinthologist
Leader of Watchdog Group
Painter of a Personal, Dreamlike World
Founded Cuban Cafe
Gong-striker Familiar to Filmgoers
Compser Revered in Brazil’s Jazz History
Author who Championed American Wines
Adapted Bagpipes to Jazz
Priest Mistaken for ‘Bandit’
In-N-Out Burger Founder
Jazz Pianist Who Helped to Build Bebop
Marine Biologist and Advocate of Sea Life
Wrote on Medical Quackery
Discoverer of Earth-Circling Radiation Belts
Early Ally, Then a Critic, of Castro
Eye Specialist and Politician

I figure there can only be one familiar gong-striker, the only thing I got on my side is the potential for mistaken identity.

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2 Comments

  1. UH 15.Aug.06 at 1:02 pm

    “Adapted bagpipes to jazz” sounds more like the cause of death than the occupation.

    Reply
  2. rgjabs 16.Aug.06 at 1:25 pm

    Call me a geek – but I recognized Van Allen as the discoverer of radiation belts. I wonder if this is meant to be a quiz?

    Reply

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