Riddle me this: More problems with eating fruit

So really, is there any way on earth to eat a banana that doesn’t make it look like you’re gobbling a giant cock? Because if there is, I need to know. Really. I’m blushing here just trying to eat a damn banana, hoping nobody will catch me.

Also, I think it’s even sicker that I take tremendous enjoyment from eating a banana and then washing it down with a luke-warm, yet still super fizzy Diet Coke with Lime.

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8 Comments

  1. UH 12.Jul.06 at 2:08 pm

    This thread is useless without pix.

  2. wendy 12.Jul.06 at 2:09 pm

    i break mine into pieces before shoving it down my throat, because i also feel awkward.

  3. ann 12.Jul.06 at 2:27 pm

    an uber-feminist friend peels the whole thing and eats it like a steak, with a knife, fork and plate. eating nanners gives me bad dreams.

  4. zook 12.Jul.06 at 3:36 pm

    I would recommend not moaning when you eat it or saying “yeah, how’s that feel” after each bite;)

    Try being a guy and a eat a banana at work. I also break into pieces just to avoid the inevitable jokes. After awhile no one pays attention and it doesn’t seem weird anymore.

  5. FFJ 12.Jul.06 at 3:37 pm

    when i was a wee lass in college, the nuns used to slice a piece off with a knife and then eat it off the knife. they too felt like they were gobbling a giant cock. but to them i guess it was the cock of christ.

    think i’m going to hell for that….

  6. jodi 12.Jul.06 at 8:53 pm

    With a knife? Why would you ever need a knife for a banana?

  7. NBFB 12.Jul.06 at 9:33 pm

    mmm… cock of christ…

  8. Thomas 13.Jul.06 at 9:08 am

    In addition to not moaning, try to avoid slapping it against your face or licking it lengthwise. Merely bare your teeth when you take a bite. Any men associating fellation will wince in imagined agony and avoid looking further.

    Now eating push-ups? There is no way to avoid the sexual connotation. Go with it. Fly your freak flag.