I’m in the midst of suffering through Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls. I’ve often proclaimed quite vehemently that I dislike Hemingway. Most of this was based on whatever the hell Mrs. Vold made me read in 11th grade English class. I can’t even remember what we read, I do remember that I hated it. I also hated Ray Bradbury’s Dandelion Wine though I cannot remember why.
Since RP2006 involved reading ‘the classics’ I thought I’d give ol’ Ernie another shot. It has proven quite painful.
Jodi’s Crackpot Lit-Theory #43 states that the only chicks who actually dig Hemingway are only saying so to impress those guys who actually dig Hemingway. It seems that mostly men dig the crusty old guy (which totally proves Jodi’s Crackpot Theory #182, men dislike anything super emotional).
Of course when I spouted out that theory at my last writing group meeting, Jags immediately started to talk about how much she loved Hemingway. hrmph! And if you knew Jags, you’d know she’s not the kind of woman to proclaim to like someone as lame as Hemingway just to impress some guy.
Jags said she liked Hemingway because his writing was so sparse. I agree. But where she sees sparseness that leads to great emotion, I see sparseness that leaves me cold because it lacks any warmth of emotion. And, really to be frank, I don’t give a flying fuck about a bunch of Commies trying to blow up a bridge in some Spanish Mountains (again, war and blowing up stuff is boy stuff), and why don’t I care? Because Hemingway sucks rocks.
So anyway, this was all brought to my mind because I got some Spam. The subject line of this Spam is what drives me so nuts about Hemingway, because he writes bullshit circular crap like this (the subject line from the Spam):
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Totally Hemingway. Totally bullshit.