i’ve been trying to write an entry for the last hour about something that i wrote 100 years ago. it was a piece that said this:
He doesn’t want to break my heart.
I know this, because he told me. In fact, he tells me all the time, every time we see each other. I don’t want him to break my heart either, so I guess we have that in common. As I sit at the end of the couch watching him talk passionately about the prairie grasses of the Midwest and unexpected forget-me-nots, I want to make myself smaller. If I could only crawl into this moment, if I could shrink my too-big body so it would fit into the spaces between his words, he wouldn’t ever have a chance to break my heart. Because then, I could live forever in this single moment where he is a man and I am the woman he finds so interesting.
“I don’t want to break your heart,” he says. “I’m still in love with her.”
but now my brain has fallen off and rolled across the floor in 3,294 directions. i know i will regret this in february, but i can’t wait until summer is over. i am so looking forward to september. things will slow down in september, that’s what i tell myself.
so, what i really need to know. is what song are you listening to right now?
i can’t tell you. you’ll just make fun.
you have to tell me. i demand to know!
Walk to Slide
G-Love and Special Sauce
i am listening to Driver 8 by REM
Red-Eyed And Blue, The Lonely One, Sunken Treasure, Misunderstood. It’s a rainy, Wilco-y, Being There day.
Jane Child – Don’t Want to Fall in Love.
An oldie but goodie.
Light Up My Room by Barenaked Ladies
Woke up this morning with the song in my head for some strange reason, listened to it a few times today already.
Purple Rain
Dirty Old Town-Ted Leo+Rx
On a Ramones kick lately…Howling at the Moon (Sha-La-La)