“hello, this is jodi,” i said. the call came in on my workline, a number i didn’t recognize so i thought i might have to be a little professional.
“hello jodi, this is kelli. . .” sister #4 said, her voice cracked. “i got some bad. . . news. . .” then she started to sob.

my stomach fell, i thought for sure someone was dead.

“jose and i aren’t getting married,” she said through her ragged breathing and tears.
“SHUT UP!” i shouted.
“yes,” she said, breaking down again, crying so hard that she was out of breath.
“you have to breathe,” i said. “just breathe.”

she was silent for a minute and i listened to her breathe.

“ok,” i said once i could tell she was calmed down enough to speak. “now what in the hell is going on?” i asked.

then she explained to me about the communication problems, intimacy issues, and more. things that i have a semi-grasp on but could not totally understand what with all the wailing and tears.

“i’m just so embarrassed,” she said. “please tell Al (the cutest girl on earth? who was going to photograph the nuptials) that i’m so sorry.”
“oh,” i said. “al’s gonna totally understand. but you shouldn’t be embarrassed, you did nothing wrong. NOTHING WRONG.”
“what are people going to say?” she asked.
“who the fuck cares,” i said.
“what am i going to do?” she asked.
“you are going to be fine,” i said. “you are going to be more than fine. you do not need him. it’s going to hurt for a long time, but you are going to be fine.”

the conversation was more of that for about 30 minutes. i felt so unbelievably helpless. there was absolutely nothing i could and/or say to make her feel better. i offered to come over, to hang with her tonight, but she said she just needed to be alone. which i can understand.

it’s just so hard to see your babysister with a broken heart. and really, i guess i’m just so stunned by it all.