“your dad wants you to call him,” tony said when i got the bowling alley last night.
“what’s he want?” i asked.
“i dunno.”

so i called dad to see what the scoop was.

“hey hon,” he said when he got to the phone.
“hi,” i said. “what do you need?” i asked him as i got five ones for charlie of the bowling stones.
“i won a free iPod,” he said. “you can have it.”
“right on!” i said. “how’d you win that.”
“oh, i got an e-mail from someone telling me i won a free iPod. you can have it, jsut do what the e-mail tells you to. you can check it in the office.”
“ok,” i said, knowing damn well that it was sapm. “i will. i gotta go, opie needs a round.”

today at lunch i was telling sister #4 about it.
“dad thinks he won an iPod,” i told her.
“yeah, i know. he says you can have it.”
“it’s spam,” i said.
“oh, i know i just didn’t want to explain it to him.”
“thanks.”
“come on, i had to explain to mom and dad what an iPod was.”
“did they get it?”
“i told them it played mp3s which are little sound files so you can have thousands of songs on the iPod.”
“oh that’s good.”
“they didn’t get it at all, they wanted to know how they were played without a CD or a tape.”

and now, my dad just called to see if i had claimed his free iPod.
“did you get your free iPod?” he asked.
“uh, no dad, it was spam.”
“spam?”
“yeah it’s some scheme to get your credit card information.”
“but they said it was free and i knew you wanted one.”
“i know.”
“why would they want my credi card number?” he asked.
“beause they are evil spammers and they probably have to pay for all the free iPods somehow.”

he was totally disillusioned and i feel kind of bad for him. this is probably how parents fell when they have to confirm the rumor that the tooth fairy is not, in fact, real.

and to be safe i told him to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give his credit card number to anyone who e-mails him. not ever. not matter what. i hope he listens.