since this is my week off from Hell, Inc., i had better get to the grocery store and stock up on supplies. but mostly i had to go because i was out of diet coke with lime and my heart was beating a little goofy and my hands were beginning to shake, because i hadn’t had any since yesterday, and i really needed a fix.
since i have made it a goal to clean my apartment between naps and bouts of sitting on the couch reading a book, i decided to pick up some cleaning supplies and groceries at the Super Target down the way. as a general rule, i don’t often shop for groceries at the Super Target, because it’s just entirely too weird for me. there’s just something about buying groceries at target that i just can’t seem to get my brain around. it doesn’t work for me, except for on rare occassions when i’m incredibly late for my nap and i really need target stuff and some grocery stuff. occassions like today.
so there i was tooling around target getting my target stuff (method laundry soap) when i was hit by a craving like you wouldn’t believe. i rand right over to the soda aisle and to pick me up a 12-pack of delicious, delimeful, diet coke with lime.
and what to my horror did appear? an empty shelf where the diet coke with lime should have been. there was none. there was diet coke with lemon, diet coke with vanilla, but NO DIET COKE WITH LIME. i wanted to cry. i thought well, maybe they’ll have a big, giant case of it. so i looked at the endcaps where they had coke products on sale. there was none. that’s when i made up my mind right then and there to get the hell out of that non-diet coke with lime-having psuedo grocery store and haul ass to a real grocery store pronto.
yes, i was so desperate that i went to two grocery stores in one day. and everyone knows how much i hate grocery stores.
i was in such a rush to procure the diet coke with lime that i skipped past all the vegetables and every other aisle containing nurishment and headed straight to the soda aisle. i gasped and dropped to my knees when i saw the shelf that had once contained diet coke with lime was empty. i gnashed my teeth and rendeded my garments and cursed the cruel cruel god who would make me go without.
i got up from my knees, weak and dejected. i rounded the corner to get some bread and what before my eyes should appear? a display filled with GIANT cases containing 24 individual delicious cans of diet coke with lime.
seems like a happy ending. but it’s got me worried. why are there no 12-packs of diet coke with lime? is coke going to discontinue this manna from heaven? can i write my congressman? get an injunction? start a petition?