the haul, a list of ill-gotten booty from the makers of entirely too much nap-time drool

i’ve slowly, ever so slowly, begun to put the christmas haul away. see, it has been living in the entryway since, well christmas, which i guess was only what? four days ago. so it really isn’t that bad. i think last year’s christmas haul stayed there until at least july. but i was getting tired of napping and really tired of leaping over all that junk to get out of my apartment.

it amazes me all the time that i get presents. i mean, yes, it’s christmas and all that. but still the idea that someone is spending their money (or their parents’ money) on me is just a little mind-boggling. i’m not so sure i’m worthy. but despite my unworthiness i love it all. all of it. and here’s a highlight of some of my favorites:
• red caribou mugs (which i am drinking out of right now, not both of them, just one): i tried to con jaycie into getting me these mugs for ages. Al the cutest girl on earth™ has a white one like the link shows, and i’ve been coveting it for ages. so everytime i’ve seen Jaycie since october i’d ask her what she was getting me for chritmas. she would look up at the ceiling and put her finger on her chin and say “two red caribou mugs.” sometimes pretend she forgot and sometimes she’d say “stinky socks” because she’s a little trixter. lest you think i am evil and all, you should probably know that after everytime i asked her she’d say “and you are getting me chapter books.” and i got her chapter books.

• resume paper: it’s no secret that i’m gonna be losing my job really soon here. it’s also no secret that my family sort of has a mean, sick sense of humor, which is why i love them so much. for christmas when we drew names, we also drew stores where the gift had to be purchased. there were no lists, no asking what you wanted, you had to think about the person and decide all by yourself what you think they might like. sister #4 drew my name and office max. as i tore open the package containing the resume paper she shouted from the other side of the room “just remember that i really do love you.” and then i saw what it was and bust out laughing. because really, it’s damn funny.

• set of knives: i technically got this from Nolie and the peanut, though really it’s from my brother-in-law tony. we were at the bowling alley one friday night talking about the lame stuff we wanted for christmas that we forgot to ask for. i told him how i really wanted a new set of knives and totally forgot. two days later i saw sister #3 she was a little pissed. “we totally had you done, you were gonna get a caribou gift card.” she said. “but noo, tony had deided you had to have knives. he said ‘i just want to see the smile on her face.’ i don’t know when he got all schoompy.” aww, isn’t he the cutest?

• The Complete Stories by Flannery O’Connor: there are some gifts that make your hands shake with thier utter perfectness. sometimes it’s not the gift itself but a combination of gift and giver and then there’s always timing. to open a package containing this book at Hell, Inc., where despair seems to be the prevailing emotion, and to see that it was from the TTHM made me gasp. of course it made all my co-workers ask what the matter was, but i diverted their attention to something else and was able to smile warmly at the book in my hands. it was an absolutely perfect gift at the perfect time from just the right person. i really do miss the TTHM something awful, and just that little reminder that he still knows i’m alive was enough to get me through this bleak, bleak holiday season.

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