i couldn’t even paint on a fake smile this morning. gravity has robbed me of my grin. this news of sister #4’s impending engagement has shaken me up more than i had anticipated. i talked a little bit with sister #3 about the news and the upcoming proposal and all that.
“since jose is her first boyfriend i don’t think she realizes just how special it is to have someone who adores you like that,” i said.
“I KNOW!” she screeched.
“i think this one might kill me,” i said. “sister #2’s wedding was hard, but only because she was first and so young. your’s didn’t bother me so much, but this one. this one is gonna get me.”
“you can still beat her. just find someone and elope.”
“yeah, like it’s that easy.”
“you’re just picky,” she said.
“it’s hard to be picky when you don’t have anyone to pick from,” i said.
it only got worse from there. i just feel so sad today, like i’m defective or something. i mean if fucking sister #4 can figure it all out, what in the hell is my problem?
Getting married doesn’t mean you’ve figured it all out.
But still, *hug*
Trust me, there’s much worse things than not getting married. Try being married but feeling any physical relationship slowly dying inside it’s shell, unable to leave and unable to stay.
Better to be single than to be unhappily married, I always say. (It would be heartbreaking to be married to someone who felt the way Thomas does, don’t you think?)
What if you could love, cherish and respect yourself the way you imagine a partner would? I mean, I’ve been married almost 19 years, and I’m still working on that myself.
Loneliness can hit anyone, even those who are surrounded by people who love them.
At 28, I’ve been engaged twice – to two very different guys who would have leaped the moon for me, or died trying. But it means nothing if it’s not who you are and if they’re not the ones for you. It’s EASY to get married (I don’t mean planning the wedding, of course!) but it’s way more difficult keeping a fulfilling, reciprocally respectful, and lusty relationship around. It is my somewhat biased and alarmist opinion that most people get married because being with themselves is too much work – only to find that being with someone else is likely so much harder.
Besides, WHO says you have to be married – and if you don’t, something’s wrong with you?? Society? Be courageous enough to do what’s right for you and determine your own worth, not based upon what all the other people in the world say or do. My little sister’s getting married to her first boyfriend too…and all I have to say is EEK!
Age 28…haven’t had a date in, literally, a year. Oh well.
In my opinion, the desire to have a husband as a single person is a lot like the desire to have a sibling as an only child. The only child wishes for a sibling because she imagines that sibling to be a confidante, a partner-in-crime, a soulmate. The reality of that is as elusive as the perfect marriage.
Do I want to be married? Definitely. Is it easy to be the only one of my friends (and the only member of my extended family) not married? Nope. BUT, they envy me on levels I can’t understand. So, I take that and accept that there’s a reason that I’m not married yet and it’s probably an okay thing.
Hell, if I get married in the next two years and live to be 80 that’s still 50 years with the same person which is PLENTY of time if you ask me.
I know how you feel, my niece (29) just got married a few months ago, and though I was happy for her, I felt sad for myself (Im 33), wondering if I will ever find someone to spend my life with. Now I see her and her new husband and I think to myself, maybe Im the luckier one.
i am the only child that wanted a sibling, but now am glad i didn’t have one.
and while, at 29, i am not the only single family member yet, i’m getting close to being her. i know i don’t have it figured out yet, but i just keep hoping that someday (very soon) i will have it figured out enough to find someone.
we’ll all figure it out someday, jodi. and i bet when we do it’ll be great. 🙂