i told myself when i got home from stink’s birthday party that when i got up today, i would be productive. i would tackle the mountain of laundry and the sinks full of dishes. i would see if i couldn’t unearth my living room from the fine film of cat hair that has settled on it. i would detoxify the bathroom, and then when all that was done, i would write and cook a healthy dinner.

of course all those plans hinged on getting up before 10:30 in the morning. now i’m lazy and full of leftover fajitas. and i’ve spent the past hour beating myself up for being so lazy.

but then i told myself fuck you. we’ve had a busy month and a half and can’t seem to remember the last time we lazed about on a sunny sunday reading books, watching bad movies, and eating ice cream.

then i called myself a fat lazy bitch again.

then i told myself, ‘dude, we have the ENTIRE week of thanksgiving off. we can clean then.’

then the both of us decided that perhaps a celebratory nap is in order.