yesterday was a trying day at work, filled with last minute hooha and copywriting emergencies. i never knew there could be a copywriting emergency until i became a copywhore. there are two kinds of emergencies in copywhoreland. the first kind is legitimate, “oh my god we totally spaced telling you about this and then we just thought we could do it ourselves but clearly we have the writing skills of a 12 year old juvenile delinquent and have no idea what we’re doing could you please, please help us oh goddess of words?”

those emergencies i don’t mind. i just waggle my magic fingers, poof words appear. it never ceases to amaze and delight.

the second kind of emergency, is illegitimate. it’s the “yeah, so i didn’t do my job like i was supposed to and get you what you needed to do your job in a timely fashion so could you please do these 19 hours of work by the end of the day, ok thanks.” i mind these.

so yesterday we had both kinds of “emergencies.” which lead me to make a few rules in copywhoreland. the first rule, which i loudly exclaimed so all my coworkers could hear was “there will be no more one day turnarounds, ever.” the minion cheered. and then, so we can avoid unneccessary emergencies like the first kind, i proclaimed “no more ‘repurposing’ of stuff.”

that’s a favorite of ours, repurposing something we’ve already created. because in marketingland it makes perfect sense to use something that was created for a specific purpose and audience for something it was not meant for, because the creatives don’t put any thought into the audience and what the point of the piece is. only, when the project is so far down the line that nothing new can be created, do they realize, “hey, these guys did all this stuff for a reason and it makes no sense to use it here, so now we have an emergency because we need to rework this thing.”

two little rules. i think that’s fair. the minion loved the new rules.

and today, in the jodiverse, we made yet another rule. that rule clearly states “when the phone rings at 8:30 a.m. on your day off, you can have chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.” i’m sure the minion won’t mind that rule either.