i was sitting here pondering making some chili and thinking about how hard it is to avoid one of my cousin joey’s silly blonde friends at the grocery store, when Leather Tuscadero popped into my head.

first, i must explain. my cousin has lived in prior lake since he was 16. he still lives here. he’s had roughly the same group of friends for about 15 years. they all met in high school, paired off, got married and started reproducing. yes, this clique has been intact for ages.

i was the weird cousin from blaine who would show up randomly at parties and events. i could never keep the girls straight, because they all looked alike and their names are like jenny, jenni, jennie, gloria, and jo-ellen. i know there are a lot of jennys. but to be able to discern which is a jenny and which is a gloria is beyond me. it always has been. the only jenni i can keep straight is the one joey married.

anyway, i never liked these girls. they were girly girls, who always had perfect hair and perfect bodies and perfect non-personalities. none of them ever went to college, none of them moved outside of scott county (which is the county where prior lake is located), none of them ever developed a personality that i can find.

it never seems to fail that i always run into one of the jenny/jenni/jo-ellen/gloria girls whenever i go grocery shopping. i haven’t a clue which one it is. but whenever i see her, she gets this vague look of distaste and recognition on her face. i always say hi as i stroll past, she always just stares vacantly at me. oddly enough whenever i see the husbands of these women, i always remember their names, and they always make a point of saying hi. i remember their names because they were always nicer to me, than the girls were.

anyway, i was sitting here thinking how shocked and appalled the jenny/jenni/jo-ellen woman would have been had i greeted her like leather used to greet people. you know that two slaps on the knee then the finger-gun point. you know what i mean, right?

she probably would have had a heartattack right there in the canned vegetable aisle. i so need to do that next time i see her.