Forget what I said earlier, the “fleshed out” version is better. The tete-a-tete between the main characters is very fluid and logical. It’s also very human.
So why the hell haven’t you written the Great American Novel and made a gajillion bucks already? The words are all there in your fingers, “sweetheart”; You just gotta be confident enough to let them out on their own.
Suzy
14.Nov.03 at 11:48 pm
I think it is really wonderful. Sweet, bitchy, sentimental and most of all real.
It’s really good. I like the interaction between the characters. The dialogue is natural and even without a lot of “telling,” we get a sense of Faith’s loneliness and how she covers it up by being flippant. So we can feel for her. (I mean, who hasn’t covered up for loneliness by being flippant? It can’t just be me!) Very real but not in a way that drags the reader down; real in a way that says a little about human nature and gives us hope. I can offer more specifics if you want but my overall reaction is very positive.
Forget what I said earlier, the “fleshed out” version is better. The tete-a-tete between the main characters is very fluid and logical. It’s also very human.
So why the hell haven’t you written the Great American Novel and made a gajillion bucks already? The words are all there in your fingers, “sweetheart”; You just gotta be confident enough to let them out on their own.
I think it is really wonderful. Sweet, bitchy, sentimental and most of all real.
It’s really good. I like the interaction between the characters. The dialogue is natural and even without a lot of “telling,” we get a sense of Faith’s loneliness and how she covers it up by being flippant. So we can feel for her. (I mean, who hasn’t covered up for loneliness by being flippant? It can’t just be me!) Very real but not in a way that drags the reader down; real in a way that says a little about human nature and gives us hope. I can offer more specifics if you want but my overall reaction is very positive.