susan doesn’t like the idea of a tall singles club. i say, good for them. i don’t think anyone, except for the very tall, know what it’s like. i think it’s especially nice for the women. it’s tough being a tall woman, the taller, the tougher. we live in a culture where most everything considered feminine is tiny and petite and fragile-like. of course, that’s complete bullshit, but when that’s what you grow up with, it’s hard to get the idea out of your head.
i know it’s whining, but it’s damn hard to be a 6’5″ woman. damn, damn hard. not a day goes by without someone, even people i see everyday, commenting on my extraordinary height. and really what can you say?
sure, it’s great to be able to see over cube walls and crowds. sure it’s great to not have to worry about reaching the high shelves. but buying clothes blows goats. “tall” women’s clothes are usually for those 5’8″ to 6′ tall– doesn’t work for those of us who bypassed that over a dozen years ago. and shoes? i dare you, DARE you to find a cute pair of girlie shoes in a women’s size 14.
and men? men claim to love taller women. but i swear it doesn’t apply to taller-than-them women. it’s all around us, the man is supposed to be taller. taller women dating shorter men is like a fucking sitcom gag. but it’s my life.
just take a look at the comments on this post. i get a lot of flack for not wanting to date men shorter than 5’10”. somehow that makes me shallow and makes me have a fragile ego. but goddamn– that’s SEVEN INCHES SHORTER THAN I AM. seven inches is a lot, that’d put the top of his head at my lips or nose.
it’s more about comfort than anything else. when you are constantly acutely aware of your body and how tall you are, you don’t want the person you love to make you even more aware of it. mostly, it depends on the man. some men can make you feel feminine and wonderful no matter what their height. i’ve dated tall and i’ve dated short and really, it all depends on the individual.
i get e-mails from tall women all the time, because they hate their height. they’re stared at and objectified. it’s just plain weird, and nobody can ever understand that quite like another tall, tall woman.
so tall women and tall men getting together and congregating is a great thing in my mind. hell, they already have so much in common– hard to find pants, cramped airplane seats and no leg room in cars– it’s a great ice breaker.
I’m not terribly tall (5’7″) but my brother is 6’7″, and I’ve seen the things he’s gone through. Shoe manufacturers assume that if you have size 15 feet you’re playing basketball, so his track cleats had to be special ordered. His high school graduation gown was comically short. He’s got that constant “don’t wanna bump my head on the doorway” slouch.
And yeah, the comments. He walks into a room and people *notice* him. People stare. I can’t even count how many times he must be asked if he plays basketball. And I’ll bet it’s hard to meet chicks when most of them are just thinking “Holy crap he’s tall.”
Plus, you get a crick in your neck if you date someone whose height is several inches different from yours.
Amen, Jodi. And thank you.
I understand your concerns about height. I know men who will not date women more than an inch taller than they. I don’t they or you are shallow for having a height criteria.
of course they are shallow, because they wouldn’t date me. it’s only unshallow when it’s my weird preference.
Heh!
Woohoo! I can join the tall people club!
I am a 6 foot tall male……
but I was very short in high school, and i didn’t have my growth spurt until my senior year…
so, i can understand how tough it is sometimes………..
the way i see it, whatever you are, that is wonderful and beautiful in its own way………..
Im a 6’2″ female and ive dated men that are 5’3″ through 6’2″ currently my boyfriend is around 5’11” and sometimes I feel self concious but you know what im not getting any shorter so its to bad if people cant deal with it.
I’m a 6’0″ woman and started dating a 6’9″ beautiful beautiful beautiful man over the summer. We met through a tall club and we are still both in awe over how great it is to date someone of the opposite sex that’s so tall. Aside from all of the other wonderful things about him, I love wearing my 4″ heels and STILL looking up at him and he loves me in my 4″ heels and not having to sit down to kiss me. We are both very thankful for that tall club!
Hi Jodi, I can imagine how you must feel, but there are so many guys out there that would love to meet a tall woman. Some guys love shorter women and others like me prefer taller women. I am 5’11 and I would love to hear from you. E-mail me alex192@hotmail.com
I can understand how it feels to be unusually tall, but from the flip side only. I’m a woman 4’11” and accept the way I am but would love to be taller. Sometimes I feel less than or like the size of a child. Some men won’t date a very short woman, and if I gain any weight at all it makes me look dumpy.
I guess God made us all different so that the world would be interesting. And we have to love whatever it is that we are, inside and out.
I’m only hooooman, of flesh and blood I am. I am just a man, Hoooo maaan Born to make mistakes.
VENT FROM A SEMI SHORT PERSON: Height is an annoying part of life, in that you have NO CONTROL over it. I personally don’t think this is fair. However, I have always wanted to run for president, and being a semi-short woman I feel I am at a disadvantage. So that’s one good thing about being an exceptionally tall woman: in theory, if you ran for president, you would have a better shot than someone who was 5’4 if they cheated by walking around on the tops of their sneakers (which by the way is really, really uncomfortable ). I have of late discovered that all of my clothes look better when I stand on my tip toes. It also doesn’t help that I have tall parents who obviously wish i was taller. They doubled my height from when I was 2 and I’m supposed to be tal, but I think they were wrong :(. And their aren’t any sports in which my height would be an advantage: I’m waaayyyy to short for basketball (even though I love it); I just missed the height barrier for gymnastics and horseback riding.
I know this height thing seems shallow, but being a feminist (er, sorta) who is constantly reminded that height= power, it’s still a major factor in my life. Also, after seeing “The Matrix” and “The Matrix Reloaded”, my height assures me that we are not living in a matrix, or at least not one of that sort, because if my brain projects whatever image I’d like providing it is fairly close to my actual features, I KNOW that I would have made myself about 8 inches taller.
Whew, I feel better now.
One piece of advice: I dance ballet, and I’ve notice that people in general, but tall people especially, slouch A LOT. There are many advantages to being tall, and if you stand up straight, you can really reap the benefits of them, in addition to improving your self confidence by alot. Anyway, I actually measured the difference, and slouching can at most take 3 inches of you’re height (and you look terrible, like a hunchback eww). Always stand up striaght, no matter how tall you are.
RE: Height
Let me first qualify/disqualify myself. I’m 5’6″, both on my feet and on my back. Sure, size IS a real problem. You can’t hide from it. You can’t run from it. The physical is practical. It affects you for life. Being short is supposed to hurt me economically, so the studies say. We all have our crosses to bear. I’m not gonna badmouth a someone because they complain about their height. I don’t want to “expand your horizons.”
My view on height is different. Both 5′ tall women and their 6′ sister tell me I’m too short. It seems only women between 5’4″ – 5’9″ will date me. Go figger.
Do I like tall women? Sure, because of their height. Do I like short women? Sure, because of their height. Do I like women with grey eyes, muscles, figures, fingers, hair, etc., etc., etc.? Sure, because of thier eyes, muscles, figures, fingers, hair, etc., etc., etc., respectively.
Yes, I objectify the opposite sex (babe, hot mama, long cool drink of water, etc.), much as I am objectified by the opposite sex (fat boy, shortie, loser, poor boy, etc.). We all do that. It’s natural, but not always to our own advantage. It is not uncommon for people to ask me if I’m going to go back to college. I always say, “No.” I never tell them how many degrees I have, and they rarely ask if I finished school, just assuming I didn’t.
So, here’s what I want to say: no matter what two people start off like, where they go with their relationship, romantic or otherwise, is dependant on how much CRAP each is willing to put up with, while they discover what a person is really like. (For example: As long as Hillary is willing to put up with Bill’s infidelities, they will remain married.) Tall clubs are fine, I suppose, as are groups like Mensa, which are based on attributes. Our real happiness, however lies in going beyond that which makes us comfortable.
Pax.
I’m 5’6″ (I believe I’ve shrunk from 5’8″ when I was younger) and never had a height complex. In fact, when I was young, I read about Napoleon being short and felt sorry for tall people because I realized it was people like me who would “rule” them. Of course, adolesence woke me up to the fact that height did matter to the girls, but I shrugged it off and dated whoever liked me. I still remember one woman in a bar responding to my request for a dance: “You’re kinda short.” I said “Yeah, and you’re kinda beautiful.” She was stunned, and of course we danced the whole night. I’ve never felt a need to prove myself because of my height, and I wished more men my height would get off this insecure bullshit that is futile. Any woman who’s cool will look past your height, and if it’s that important to her that she passes you over because of it, then move on to the next one. For pete’s sake, there’s 3 billion women in the world!
I’m a 6’4 man. I love tall women, even women taller than me. Who said that a woman must be shorter than man? it’s bullshit! It’s a primitive rule of society where men must be stronger, powerful, taller, the king of women. Our society’s too chauvinist. That’s it
kisses
I guess I can’t complain. I’m a 5’8″ woman and I’ve always loved it. If I were 9 inches taller though I’m sure I’d be pissed too.
I’m a woman, 6’2″, and I can relate to some of your sentiments. I however have an advantage/disadvantage. I’m a big lesbian. Women think I’m cute because I’m tall, they’ll look me up and down all night, but they won’t ask me out unless I’m sitting down, if at all, go figure THAT one out. The unfortunate thing about dating pools is they generally espouse the heterosexism found in the greater culture. Yeah, if I were more interested in dating I would start my own GLBT tall person’s club, I guess I’m just too busy attempting to save the world.
It does kinda suck from time to time, being able to see over the crowd to where you want to be and not being able to get there. And don’t get me started about trying to find firefighting boots that fit so I don’t tear apart my feet every time I go out.
But hey, if it weren’t my height then it would be something else. I’m unique…just like everyone else
I am a guy, who is 6’5 and I thought I would add my two cents in too! I want to bring up just trying to hold hands, kiss, dance, or look in to your s/o’s eyes when your so much taller then them. for some reason I attract women who are between 5’2 and 5’5. the last time I danced with someone and was able to look in her eyes was my freshman prom in high school. I’ts hard enough for me to find clothes, I can’t imagine what it would be like for a woman..
Stand on a curb… then kiss 🙂
I just wanted to say that I absolutly love women taller and stronger than myself. And I mean that. I would love to meet a woman as tall as you. I would certainly hit on you and ask you out.
Good luck, Mark………..
well, Im 5’8, and i have feelings for a guy who is 5’7. The problem is that Im always wearing heals, and that makes me look significantly taller than him…. I feel extremely uncomfortable, but I really like him. He’s a great guy.. If you asked me if i preferred a tall or short, i would say tall, but i have not met one that makes me complete like the short one i know now…I want to date him, but im scared a nice tall guy shows up, and I will realize that he wasent what i wanted..i dont want to be shallow, and i have to make a decision soon. I need Help!