accosted in the bread aisle

i don’t think i’ve mention lately how very much i detest grocery shopping. i’ve had to go to the grocery store three times this week. yes, i’ve ventured into the third circle of hell THREE TIMES in one week. my mind boggles at such nonsense. first i had to go because, well, i had no food. then i had to go to get the lettuce for last night’s salad, and today i had to go because i had to get pot-luck-type-food for the bowl-o-rama.

the first time i went this week, i got cornered by a gaggle of short old-ladies in the bread aisle. it seems this trio of septogenarians needed this certain kind of bread crumbs for the traditional thanksgiving stuffing. apparently this is the most popular bread crumb in scott county, because there weren’t very many bags left and they were all on the tip-top shelf. a shelf none of the women could reach.

when i wheeled around the corner of the bread aisle, i made the mistake of looking where i was going. one of the septogenarians spotted me, her eyes lit up, and she grinned a most beatific smile as she looked at me and then up at the out-of-reach bread crumbs.

“could you help me?” she asked.
“sure. how many do you need?”
“here you go,” i said.
“how about one more?”

as i was giving her the last bag, the other two other ladies who were watching from a safe distance to figure out how she was gonna get the bread crumbs down approached.

“it must be so nice to be so tall,” one of the greyhairs said. “could you get me three bags?”

eventually, they cleared out the bread crumbs, and i forgot my peanut butter.

and today some old lady made me get her not one, not two, not three, but four two-liters of rc cola, because she couldn’t reach them.

i beginning to think they need to build a store for short people.

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