a few weeks ago i told my friend MMJ (mystery man J) that i was giving up the chase. he finds this awfully hard to believe because i am such a chaser.

traditionally, when i’ve been interested in a man i don’t have any problem persuing. none at all– in fact i rather enjoy it. but, as you all know, this doesn’t work so well for me. the harder i chase, the faster they run away from me.

so i’ve stopped, which MMJ finds really hard to believe.

“have you talked to darlingjason lately,” he asked.
“yeah, this morning,” i said.
“is he coming to minnesota anytime soon,” he asked.
“i dunno. i didn’t ask. i am done chasing remember?”
“i thought that was just TTHM?”
“nope, all of them, i am done!”

it just sounds so sad, to say i am done with the pursuit, but it’s not so sad. i am still open to any and all potential and possibilities and what not. it’s not like i’m off the market. i just can’t keep putting myself out there only to be rejected. i guess i need to give my confidence a little time to recompose itself. for awhile there, this summer, i thought i was hot stuff. now i’m feeling like not stuff you know?

does that make any sense at all? i’m still convinced these meds have my head all wonky.