ok men, listen up. you, you, you and you in the back, yes you too, i’m going to toss you all off a fucking bridge. you, you’re safe because you make my tummy do flipflops and you make my knees weak. but the rest of you, i hope you can swim. i don’t want to really kill you, just maim you a bit. a limp is what i’m looking for.
did you all have a meeting that was like:
“ok, all those in favor of infuriating, hurting, and generally making jodi miserable, please say aye.”
“aye”
“all those opposed?”
“. . . ”
“the ayes have it, now go out and make her crabby. godspeed.”
my god you are a bunch of moody motherfuckers. if anyone of you ever (and yes i am talking about all men in general and not anyone specific) ever bug me about moody and PMSiness, i’m gonna beat you with a sack of hammers. y’all are lucky you’re so damn cute, because right now i’m ready to chuck you all– especially the ones i don’t have a crush on.
phew, i feel much better. that one was stewing inside of me. i think every man who crosses my path this week has PMS, they were all driving me batty with their moodiness and attention-needing. isn’t this why they all have girlfriends and wives? i am semi-not-obligated and want to do that for one man, and he wasn’t the demanding one.
Huh?
exactly. it made no sense at all, but made me feel roughly 239 times better.
Dammit jodi, I demand that you rewrite that entire post so it makes sense, and I want it on my desk in fifteen minutes! Chop-chop! And get me some coffee while you’re at it!
see that giant white orb? that’s my ass, kiss it.
*smooch*
that was menacing and tough and not flirty and come onie.
I hate to disappoint you, but I can’t picture you as menacing. Tough, perhaps, but not menacing.
And when I picture your ass…well, let’s just say that “tough” isn’t exactly an option either.
😛
You can throw me off 10,000 bridges…I’ll still come back, waterlogged, limping, maimed or even blinded with the headache from the ritual bashing with hammers…you sure know my buttons, don’t you?
All I want to know is who the son-of-a-bitch is that gave Jodi the notes of our meeting. This is the type of shit that brought Anderson down, guys! Let’s have a litle more decorum next time, shall we?
Sorry Jodi, that wasn’t really meant for your eyes.
Back to square one guys!
can i join you in your man-tossing brigade? i’ve got strong arms….
sure you can, but we have to spare the TTHM. he’s gone back to making my tummy do flipflops.
ooh, that was feisty. i liked that.